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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I wouldn't be so fast to chalk this all up to "women don't really like sex, or when they get older, they lose their sex drive." While this is certainly true sometimes, I have to say that I am almost 45 years old, and my sex drive has never been stronger. I think women love sex just as much as men do, sometimes even more. But I also think that most women don't want to have sex in a commited relationship unless the EMOTIONAL intimacy is also very strong and satisfying. I think for women, this is why the sex dwindles. Women stop feeling cherished, loved, pursued, wanted, not just physically but mentally and emotionally, wanted, and so they don't want to make love with someone who doesn't really stimulate them emotionally anymore.

I also think that the majority of married women GET married not because they are passionately, hopelessly in love with the guy, but because their biological clock is ticking, they want the kids, the house, the pta meetings, the mini van in the driveway of a two story house, etc. etc etc. and they meet a Mr. Security Man who will give them that. A nice, stable bloke who will be home every night, who won't cheat or beat them, who will be a good provider, protector, and a good father. But not necessarily a man they were ever passionately in love with. These are the women who lose interest in sex once they have the kids they wanted, and these are the women who have to offer themselves up to their husbands once in a whle with the attitude of " *sigh* well, I guess it's one of my duties, so *ugh* ok, c'mon, hop on and let's get it over with :rolleyes:"

Not every woman is like that. But at this stage of the game, finding a woman who will love you and kiss you and caress you and make love with you because she wants to and not just because she feels it's one of her duties, could be hard to find. I think you have to make some choices. Think long and hard about what you really want. Marriage is seldom about love, especially passionate love. Marriage is about convenience, combining resources, security, comfort, partnership and companionship. More of a business arrangement between two comforable friends with similar goals. Sounds kind of dull and unsatisfying, doesn't it? I think that's why marriage is slowly becoming a thing of the past and more and more people are opting to have families the Brangelina or Briston and Levi way, partnering up for as long as it's satisfying for both parties, but no sticky legal commitments and both parties being free to go their separate ways and pursue other avenues when the passion dies and the emotional connection stagnates. But everything is a trade off. No one gets to have it all, the great sex, the passion, the love and strong emotional feelings and connection AND the long term comfort and companionship. Most people have choose between the two.





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