It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I am now seeing a therapist...this whole thing has brought my existence almost to a screeching hault! It's scary really, I can't believe I have let myself get this far. I've always been pretty grounded as a person. I mean, I was married for a long time and tried VERY hard to make it work. I really did, but you can't help an alcoholic that doesn't want to be helped in no way, shape, or form. I am usually a well-adjusted woman. I graduated high school at 16 years old, went to nursing school full time and received my RN when I turned 19, and have been nursing ever since. I've seen a few rough roads in my lifetime, but none like this. Four months ago I weighed 120 lbs-I'm down to 95. I stay up most nights until 4 am and then catch a couple of hours-enough to halfway function. I've never gone without working-the past two months not working alone have just about did me in. Update on that...I got a new job Friday that I start on Monday of next week.

As far as you guys not having the whole story??? Well, I tried to not write a solid book. What can you do with a 2 year relationship story..we really have been great up until all of this happened. We've had some ups and downs-a couple of big issues but we've always managed to work through them. The main thing since I've known him is my relationship with my family. He has always told me I am way to close to them. I will never understand that. I did come to understand I was spending a lot more of my free time with them about 6 months into our relationship than I should-and that I do allow my sister way to much slack...see, when he and I met, my sister and her two children were living with me. She wasn't working (for a year) :( and I supported them entirely for over a year. I really have raised my niece and nephew, who are 16 and 14 now. I've always taken care of them. She was walking all over me and I was letting her. He helped me see that. She wasn't even trying to get a job and continued to do drugs. I finally made her move out-that is another situation in itself. I did, however, focus more time and energy on having a healthy relationship with him. I had to change a lot of things. I wear my heart on my sleeve...if I have 5 dollars to my name I'll give 4 of it away if I'm asked to. Everyone that knows me knows that about me. So, I tend to get used a lot. I realized, no one can change that but me. I'm a whole lot better now. I've learned to say no...most of the time. I just feel like he wants to change every single part of my personality, and why? Why is who I am so bad? I like to help people. Probably why I married an alcoholic, and why I have a relationship with him-he is severely bipolar. He doesn't take his medication-been off of it for 3 years. He is moody-very moody. I deal with it. I don't think he is hopeless. He has a big heart, he really does. I'm not scared of him, although climbing in my window and waking up to see him on the edge of my bed did freak me out a little...

He's been calling me all day. Where you at..where you been...that sorta thing. We've never been like that. He said a couple of days ago that he loves me and he'll wait...we'll figure this out. That he has been wrong in giving me ultimatums that he knew I'd have trouble with...so, I've been trying to take a step back and get my mind back. Now he tells me he hates being alone and he just doesn't know if he can do this..wait I mean. That he will try..but it's driving him insane. ??????? I said, so what's your alternative? You break up with me, try to meet someone else down there really fast so you won't be alone? Is that even possible for you? Because at this stage of the game, I can't even think about being with anyone other than you, with my life so screwed up. I said, if you chose to completely part ways with me tonight, my mind couldn't even go to a "plan B". For one, it wouldn't be fair to the poor guy I chose to get over you with, and two, it wouldn't be fair to me or my son. How can you let your mind go there? I just don't get it...I do believe I'm starting to-with all of you guys help:) but I am still finding myself in a horrible, horrible frame of mind with all of this...God help me, help me help myself please....





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:44 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!