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I was at a house party with my gf (she's 23) yesterday and we were sitting against a wall watching a game of beer pong. One of her managers (a guy around 30) called her a bitch in a joking way. She said, "Oh yeah!? I'll show you!" and jumped up and ran across to the other side of the room and slugged him. Then they started play fighting back-and-forth for about 10 seconds until he wrapped his arms around her to subdue her. One of her other managers came over to me and said, "Oh don't worry about him - he's got a girlfriend (the guy my gf was messing with)."

Now, my gf is the jealous type and always questioning me about things. I know that if roles were reversed and a girl called me a "jerk" and I ran across the room and slapped her arm and got into a 10 second play fight that ended with her wrapping her arms around me... well, I know my gf would be upset. I actually proposed that scenario to her and she said it would upset her if it happened. She also said "it would be different because all my friends that are girls like me." But I said, "You don't know what's running through the guy you were messing with's head..."

Well we didn't talk about it anymore until when we got home that night. I asked her if I gave her enough attention. She said, "Yes, and why?" I said, "I was just wondering if you feel the need to flirt with other guys like at the party..." She got quiet for 10 minutes (formulating her battle plan I guess...)

She starts off with, "Well he's my bro." (She calls all her guy friends 'bros') I'm like, "What?" She: "He's like a brother. Brothers and sisters fight." I said, "He's not even a close friend of yours. He's just a guy you know at work. So don't say it's a brother-sister thing because if an adult male and adult female who are not related play-fight, then to me that's flirting."

Then she said no one else thought that was flirting. And I said your other manager came over to me during it and said "to not worry about that.. that the guy had a gf.. So obviously even he could see the flirting in it..."

Then she got quiet for another minute and said, "I was angry that he called me a bitch and I went over there to hurt him but not too much because he's my manager and I could get in trouble." I said, "If what he said bothered you and he's like your "bro" can't you just tell him to his face that what he said bothered you and you felt disrespected?" That I don't know many people who are genuinely upset would handle it like she did.

Also, she ran over there laughing.. and they were laughing the entire time they were messing throughout. I've seen her mad. She was definitely not mad. So I didn't appreciate her last defense - it seemed insulting for me for her to say something so far-fetched.

I don't mind her slapping her guy friends every now and then but a 10 second play fight ending with the guy's arms wrapped around my gf seems a little too touchy-feely for me. She's an attractive girl and I know how guy's think. Even if she had innocent intentions it's still comes off poorly. I wouldn't do it with another girl. And also that my gf initiated the physical contact by going all the way across the room bothers me. And the fact that she wouldn't be cool at all with me play-fighting with other girls.

One other thing to mention - pretty much all of our flirting is play-fighting. It turns her on. She's feisty. So I know that her preferred method of flirting is play-fighting like that... that makes a little more uncomfortable when she play-fights with other guys.

So after we talked about it casually I asked her for any input and she just stayed silent for a long time. She kept glaring at me so I asked if she was angry. She said she was angry that I accused her of going to him to flirt. I said, "I don't think you ran over there specifically to flirt. But you ending up play-fighting with him and play-fighting to me is flirting. So do I think you flirted? Yes."

My gf is very pretty but also has some self-esteem issues. She was cheated on in every relationship she's ever had before me. She always thinks I'm going to break up with her. She has dreams that I cheat on her. I've only been true to her throughout the 4 months we've dated and I get her little anniversary gifts all the time. She always says how happy I make her and that I'm bar far the best bf she's ever had. Anyways... I'm just checking to see if I handled this situation in a decent manner. I try to present it unbiased. Everyone I've asked so far has told me I was justified in getting upset over her behavior.

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