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[QUOTE=Kat41;4177259]The problem is this guy is a `" self proclained" spiritualist who has invested most of his life into positive thinking & self development...[/QUOTE]

Seriously?? What a hypocrite! My passive aggressive child like side would start referring to him as the Guru of Hate. LOL.

I have a similar story. My boyfriend (also live in) has a friend who is awful. He used to rent a room in my boyfriends house before I moved in. When he was living there, he became friends with my boyfriend, used all his stuff, really over stepped his limits. He was a total slob and ate his meals like a wild animal. One time this guy had a girlfriend over there and they got in a fight, cops were called to my boyfriends house. When I came into the picture, and especially when my boyfriend and I became more serious about each other, the roomie friend started bad mouthing me. He was seriously jealous of how much my boyfriend loved ME! Like a child, he wasnt getting all the attention anymore. When my boyfriend finally asked me to move in, he gave his friend 4 months notice. That is when his "friend" started to do things to try and break us up. He said horrible things about me. He teased my boyfriend about what a p**** he was now that I have him "whipped.". Such hurtful things. He even stooped low enough to call one of my boyfriends ex girlfriends over to the house, knowing this particular ex girlfriend still had feelings for my boyfriend and could care less about me. He told her that my boyfriend needed a good "distraction" and that he needed to be saved from my spell!! I found that out when my boyfriend came over to my appartment, and told me his ex was sitting in his living room, thanks to his "friends" invitation. I about lost it. The FINAL straw came two weeks before the friend moved out. Things were kind of simmering and I think my boyfriend wanted to just let him move out with out really harsh feelings. My boyfriend was in the garage on the phone. The roomie started in on me (he had been drinking) and started to get in my face. He is literally 6 foot 5 and weighs about 275 lbs mostly muscle. I walked to the bathroom thinking I could ignore him there, but he followed me and cornered me and yelled at me, very threatning. I said "get out of my face, back off" and put my hand to his chest moving him away. He could have decked me, the anger in his eyes was unreal.
I somehow got to the garage and told my boyfriend I was going home and to call me there. He asked me what happed and I told him. My boyfriend was livid. He is only 5 foot 10 maybe 180 lbs, and he is 12 years older but he was going to lay into the friend/roomie. I said no, it will get too ugly. Lets just go, and you can confront him when he is sober.
Well, my boyfriend did confront him, calmly the next day. I was not there, I left it up to him. He simply said he can't treat people like he treated me, and especially not me if he was going to ever talk to him again. Well if it was me I would have severed all contact, but that is not my boyfriend. He would rather not have enemies if he can avoid it. Maybe your boyfriend is the same way. He wont tolerate disrespect to you but at the same time doesnt want to alianate anyone?
I was a bit upset/disappointed over the Christmas break, this same guy showed up at a mutual friends house and my boyfriend chatted with him and got caught up, like all was cool. Thats the thing about him. Take it or leave it, I still love him even though he has a psycho sorta-friend (now more of an aquaintence). I will just not do anything or go anywhere that the guy will be at..nor is he invited into our home.
Maybe your boyfriend is drawing that line..wont let him talk that way about you, but still keeps his friendship with the guy separate from that. I think guys can sort of do that mentally, when as women we could not. If a woman friend of mine disrespected my boyfriend I would not be able to separate that part from our friendship, but maybe some people can?
Sorry, probably not much help. Just to let you know Ive been there and done that...and I know that my boyfriends loyalty is with me, and if push came to shove he'd chose me, and I gather your boyfriend would do the same.

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