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Relationship Health Message Board

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I have been dating this girl for a little over four months. We are both 19. I love being around her, she is funny, beautiful, very active. I will spare the details, but she, to me, is all around perfect...almost.

I have learned many things about her, but one thing that is really starting to bug me is that she will do almost whatever i tell her. She really doesnt ever say no to me. I mean she is a very busy person, and has everything in order in her life, but she doesnt really have a "will" of her own. She has had past family problems, but they dont seem to affect her anymore. Main point is: I feel as though she doesnt respect HERSELF, or do what is right for her sometimes. She never makes the decisions. For example if she has to study one night for a big test, and I invite her over, she will still come over and blow off studying. Or maybe one night she wont want to have sex, but she knows I do so she lets me anyways.

I have tried telling her that she can say no to me if she is uncomfortable doing some things, and she sais she never feels uncomfortable, but i still feel like she just gives in to people way too easily. What can I tell her to make her undestand that she has a voice, and that she has power over herself to do what she wants? That she can only please me if it pleases her? I fear that later on in our relationship this could turn into a major problem, leaving her with no self esteem.

It is not a big problem right now, and maybe I am just overthinking things too much. But still, what can I say to her, to make her feel that our relationship revolves around the wants and needs of both of us, not just me?


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