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[QUOTE=resolution09;4189326]When I was in 7th grade we were all tested. Two or three months later I was giving a letter to take home to my parents. I lived in a "difficult" home and was scared to death. You never knew when something would cause a ruckus...no rhyme or reason to it. So I hid the letter in the garage. That's how smart I was. I could have burned it. I could have tossed in into the trash can outside our home. I could have torn it into tiny bits. But nooooo, I hid it on a shelf in the garage where my Dad hung out all the time. And the letter was the results of my IQ test telling my parents I was in the top 5% of the state that year. When my Dad found it and I realized I was not in trouble I told them I'd just dropped it on my way home. Duh.

To this day, that's the "way I am". I am very smart. Some days. Other days I'm dumb as a post. IQ is just one piece of the pie chart and I think those of us who read your posts know IQ is NOT your weakness. Don't waste your money on any test. Because even if you come back as an absolute genius, what difference does it make? Trust me, there will still be moments when you, like everyone else in the world, will do or think dumb things. We're human. (Well, except for your co-worker. He sounds like he's on a roll for most of the time!) Really, the part you have to start working on is not being soooo upset about the fact that you are human and imperfect. We all are.[/QUOTE]

Well, you do have evidence that you are quite intelligent, so it is probably a little easier for you to feel secure even when you say things you later deem "dumb" (though perhaps you are being too hard on yourself). Can't say I have such a luxury.

But, yes I'll admit I do get upset when I ruminate over my perceived flaws. Betrand Russel said something that always comes to mind: "The problem with the world is, the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt." I guess, because I wanted to be intelligent, I started to doubt everything, especially myself. Then, I started to wonder if the person next to me is superior. It then became habit. I mean, I know there are certain people that are unquestionably better than me. I suppose I can deal with that, but the constant comparison between myself and some random individual on the street is excruciating.

I guess it is even worse when it is a co-worker, someone you see quite often. I find the persistent need for comparison unavoidable. You are right about one thing, though. If I wouldn't get as upset over these petty measuring games, I would definitely be happier (you didn't say that in those words, but forgive me for plucking that implication out of what you wrote).
[QUOTE=TryAgain121;4189640]Well, you do have evidence that you are quite intelligent, so it is probably a little easier for you to feel secure even when you say things you later deem "dumb" (though perhaps you are being too hard on yourself). Can't say I have such a luxury.[/QUOTE]

I've never taken an IQ test, yet I know I'm intelligent. I don't need proof in the form of a test. I have proof in the results of my hard work in both my professional and personal life. Yes, I screw up, probably every day. I might say the wrong thing, drop something, forget something. But I'm sure that even Einstein had "duh" moments. Everyone makes mistakes.

There are lots of very intelligent, talented and successful out there. All I have to do is turn on the tv to see people who will have more money and success in their chosen field than I can ever dream of. And in my personal life I have friends an acquaintances who are very intelligent-doctors, nurses, and math geniuses. I've always been useless at math and science, and I suppose I could let the fact that they are so smart get me down. But I don't. I'm happy for them. They had a talent and worked hard to make the most of that talent. I'm happy for them and wish them the best. Because you know what, I may never be a doctor, or a business executive, but I speak languages, have common sense, and can appreciate art and music. I feel happy in myself and my own talents and achievements.

Everyone has a different kind of intelligence and will be good at different things. Look at yourself and accept what you're not very good at or interested in, and accept that it's not your thing. Work on what are are good at, what you do enjoy. Cultivate that talent and watch it flourish.

Lastly, and I can't stress this enough, get therapy!! You need professional help to work through these issues and realize your full potential. I'd hate to see you look back in 10 years time and realize all the time you wasted letting these insecurities rule your life. Life goes by so fast, don't waste it, make the most of who you are!!





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