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When people ask if I'm single... I hesistate to respond. Apart of me considers myself single since me and "my man" have been on again and off again. I guess you can call it a "complicated" situation. We used to live together but since I decided to go back to college, I severed ties with him (it obviously did not last too long) and moved in with a roommate.

Lets focus on HIS situation NOW. He got laid off, lost his apartment, cant find work, lost his car.... a list of things that have completely gone wrong. I used to be engaged to this man and I was once in love with him. A lot has happened... like this thing called "maturing." Even though I have changed, I still truly do care about him. I also feel sorry for him and because we have quite a long history together... I feel obligated to be there for him. Apart of me wants to help him because you should help when you CAN but the other part of me is going MAD.

Please note, I am a nursing student and I also work a full time job. My family does not help me financially whatsoever so you can imagine how tight things are for me. I pay for my own car, my car ins, rent, phone, power, etc. I can handle that but he has no place to stay... he has started staying with me, then it became more frequent... now he has practically moved in. He is at my apartment all day. HE LIVES THERE with no transportation. Now, I am really trying to be fair so on one side... IT IS NOT HIS FAUL HE GOT LAID OFF. HE IS LOOKING FOR WORK AND CANNOT FIND ANY BECAUSE NO ONE IS HIRING. HIS TRANSMISSION WENT OUT AND HIS CAR IS AT THE SHOP. He has started getting unemployment 250 a week.

I understand his situation is bad and I feel bad too. I help everyway I can. I buy groceries and cook for him, I drive him around whereever he needs to go, he stays with me, when I can help him with 50 dollars here and there I do etc BUT I AM JUST SICK OF THIS. I am so frustrated I want to scream!!!!!!!! My just fill with tears when I think of this frustrating situation. I feel so obligated to help because he is going thru a rough patch but I am so busy too. Mondays,Wednesday and Fridays I am at work from 8-5pm. Monday at 7pm, I have a lab class. Tuesday and Thursday mornings I have four classes back to back. I dont get out of class until 1:30 and I go straight to work. I am so busy with just school and work... this does not even include TIME FOR STUDYING. I share my apartment with my roommate and she really is cool and does not care but that is besides that point. I share the living room, dining room, kitchen, laundry with my roommate and while HE does not hang out there.... He stays with me so he obviously LIVES IN MY ROOM. It is so difficult and so frustrating to study when he is there in my room watching tv or playing video games. He is not loud and he does not bother me but I dont know how to explain how his presence seems to take up space... mentally, emotionally EVERYTHING.

He was not getting his unemployment there so I felt even more obligated. I wanted to help him... and I did. But he has started to get his unemployment and I want to ask him to get out of my apartment - is that mean of me?? I feel so terrible and you have no idea how torn I feel. I feel so selfish because he is somebody that truly needs help. He does have family members that live 45 minutes away from me. I feel like now that he has his unemployment money he should go down there and stay with them. He does not want to because that area does not have a whole lot of job opportunities and his family is poor. His mom is on disability and she lives with her son (his brother) His brother does not have a car however his wife has transportation. having said that she goes to school. He can stay with them but that is basically 4 people including himself with one car.

while I truly care about him and while I do love him (I dont mean the romantic, sexual way), I am just struggling with this. i feel like a mom with a grown man for a child. i know he does not enjoy and want to be dependent on me... but he is! especially before he got his unemployment. now that he has unemployment and he can buy food... the fact that he still stays in my rooms and lives there and will continue to depend on me for transportation... is still aggravating.

We were broken up for a while but then we would hang out and hook up from time to time. Then all of a sudden this happens and now here I am.

Am I being selfish?





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