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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi it's me again.
Thanks for the posts. I am extremely happy in my marriage and my husband is awesome. Maybe that is why I feel comfortable talking with my ex because I know in my heart there is no threat there.

I'm surprised that so many people have responded with "why go there?" Obviously I thought my ex was a good guy when I dated him and he's still a good guy. I like having friends who I know that well, and that know me that well. My ex can tell when I'm fooling myself or whatever and he can tell it to me straight without feeling like he has to tip toe around my feelings. That is probably the main reason I like talking to him. He can tell me straight up to stop being a jerk and vice versa. In other words I don't feel like I have to be careful of how I say things to him like you would with a spouse or girlfriend. I feel like I know the core of my ex so why let an opportunity for a friendship with someone I feel is trustworthy go? My husband has even said to keep my friendship with him because he said if I had a relationship with him once then he must be a good guy (that means he thinks I choose men with integrity). I am able to talk openly with this man and vent sometimes about whatever... parenting, pain, work, etc. Sometimes you just need to unload on friends and spare the spouse your whining. I know that's what girlfriends are for but I only have one close girlfriend like that, and a great sister, and talk to them both the same way I talk to my ex. I have found that women my age seem really too busy to invest in a really deep friendship. I have a lot of neighborhood friends but no one except my sis and that one girlfriend that I would be comfortable unloading on.

I am saddened by the lack of trust in the world between mates as I read everyones responses. I would hate to live in a paranoid state where I didn't trust my mate. Either I'm naive, too innocent, or I just have good communication skills with my husband. Probably a little of the first two and a lot of the third.

Bottom line is that I love my husband, he loves me; and I value my friendship with my ex and so does my ex.





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