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Thank you for that post. Your boyfriend sounds like he has the same issues...the need to sniff out the drama queens to feel something inside or to make their egos feel satisfied. The more I think about it the more I find myself upset, this may be who he is, and I may never be able to break though that. It sounds like the way you handled it worked...and your boyfriend really understood you. This has happened with us once before with another girl and it took a lot out of me to move forward. I trusted he was done with that need. Apparently not.

You make a good point about making this not be about jealousy or possesiveness, but about intimacy that should stay within our relationship. The sentence you said that sticks out (and I will probably say it to him word for word is that even if he has esteem issues, that doesn't justify creating complicity with other women.

This has been extremely helpful, all of these posts.

As a side note, I had called him yesterday to give him the heads up we need to talk. I said I wasnt angry, but that I had come to a realization about somethings and had some observations to discuss. I tried to be as unthreatneing as I could so he wouldnt get that feeling he was in for a beat down style talk. When he came home I was pleasant. But we didnt have time to talk because my daughter was there and needed help with homework and it got very late. He wanst feeling very well anyway and at 11pm we just went to bed. He didnt say much of anything to me, no good night kiss, no cuddle, no nothing.
I got up and showered this morning, and he got up and got ready for work. He didnt say one freaking word to me this morning. He left the house without a kiss or even a "see you later". Nothing. Which is very wierd. In the past even if we had something on the table we were going to discuss, we are at least cordial to each other .

Oh and one more thing. The news was on and a segment about Sandra Bullock came on, how her husband cheated on her and it all came out yesterday. My boyfriend said, very sarcasticlly to me "so, I guess she should just DUMP him...right??" He said it in an angry tone as if Sandra was the bad one on this?? As of women are SOOO cold because they call their men out on cheating. WTF??

Anyway. My plan is to call him and get out of the house this evening to discuss. I will tak all the advice with me, and I will state my peace in a non threating, honest way.

Thank you to everyone here. Your help has been incredible. I will be back to update.:angel:

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