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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=justmel30;4207971]The problem with all of this preplanning of confrontation is that rarely does it go the way we preplan it to in our minds. You can have this wonderful bevy of very insightful questions that in your mind, he will have no answere to, be left speechless, and confirm your correctness. However, the reality of it is most often something completely the oposite. I first of all would not recommend snooping through his phone or text msg's. I believe in that gut intuition and if it's telling you that something more is there, then probably there is. I get a bad vibe from her more then him. My guess is he isn't going anywhere over an office crush. And lets face it, even when we are completely happy with someone, even if we've been married for a hundred years, every once in a while, somebody new or exciting comes around and we develop a very childish crush. But i think he is crossing some lines. You should at least tell him you dont appreciate him talking about you to her. He needs to leave you, or anything personal between the two of you, out of it. And I dont know that I trust her at all. All of this, I just seen your sweety, what a bunch of b.s. I think she's doing it on purpose, just to get to you, and let you know that she IS there. And I think she is being overly friendly so it doesn't come off as too blatent. And I think that rather then attacking at him for taking a look, I would challenge her. I would tell him that you dont trust her, she just gives you a bad vibe, and you would appreciate it if he could keep her out of your hair. Then, I would get really busy away from him. Let him know you have your own life. He doesnt get to have his cake and eat it too. If he wants the adoring girlfriend who is allways there, then he needs to deserve it. If he cant jump on board and make up his mind as to which way he wants to go, then I would say, although he probably wouldn't cheat "technically", he isn't man enough to stay faithful "mentally", and that just isn't enough man for you. ;) Good luck to you sweety.
Melissa[/QUOTE]


Very good points, Melissa.
I kinda wish I this post before I confronted him.. We did both agree that SHE is somewhat of a busy-body. Apparently, my boyfriend is not the only one who has been talked to. My boyfriend says that she is becoming too much of a social butterfly and others are being warned to not interact with her so much. My boyfriend also was upset that every time she sees me she makes a point of telling me she just saw him. He thinks now she is stirring up trouble and he is wondering if he can even trust her. But, he did say that he would not end his friendship with her. He said he's able to keep things platonic so he won't end his friendship.
I also told him that his behavior at home lately has been the same kind of distant that he was back when the same situation happened with another girl a couple years ago. Like he gets sucked up in thier lives and therefor gets distant with me. I told him next time I won't wait for him to snap out of it and to realize it. I'll have a foot out the door while he plays hero to them and disengages with me. I know, sounds like I was quite the bee-otch in our conversation but I had a lot to get accross.
Thanks for your words!!





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