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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


You are so right...it is leading someone on. i know this because i have been doing the same thing with my ex-husband. i would answer his calls and txts everytime he needed something or just wanted to talk. it was never about anything much just talking but it was usetting my current bf. I just thought because I wasn't talking about getting back together that it wasnt wrong but then my ex did start talking about that. Idk why your bf continues to keep the lines open with his ex but mine was simply that I didn't know how to establish those kinds of boundaries with mine. I was so used to just letting him do whatever that i never stopped to think how it was making my new bf feel. But even once i did tell my ex that we had to stop talking unless it was strictly about our kids, he still wants to call and text all the time. It has gotten better over the last 3-4 wks but only because I stopped answering every phone call and text. Now he will text and say I need to talk to you about something important can i call u plz? And i let him bcuz i think it could be about one of our girls and then it's just nothing...him wanting to talk. It's hard to make those boundaries to someone you used to love that much bcuz you still don't want to hurt them. but your bf needs to think about the same thing i did...whose feelings would i rather hurt? A person who used to do some pretty mean things to me and who now is just the father of my children or this really wonderful guy that I'm with now that loves me and I think would do anything for me? I chose the really wonderful guy. and hopefully your bf will choose you. And i don't mean literally bcuz obviously he is already with you and hasn't been with her for a long time. But he still has a choice of sorts to make. You should just sit him down and really tell him how you're feeling about the whole thing. Don't be confrontational if you can help it as that will only put him on the defensive. Just tell him that when he talks to her it makes you feel bad and it leads her on. And if he loves you then he should stop no problem. Or at least he should start trying to stop to where it eventually becomes no communication at all. Good luck.





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