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Relationship Health Message Board


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Well, I cant really say what's what and how you should feel about all of this stuff. It sounds like there is sooooooooooooo much more going on and like alot of it is very deep rooted. Whether he has bad intentions or doesnt, I believe your insecurities would be there reguardless. And that's a tough thing to work through. I do believe, and I've said it on this board before, that what we fear we create. So to bring that into your situation, your so afraid of him loving his ex and still wanting to be with her, that you nag about it, talk about it, cry about it. Then you compare yourself to her. On top of all that, you dont give the guy a break on this subject.......it sounds like it is ALLWAYS on the tip of your tongue, and you never know when it's going to come out next.....but you know for sure that it will. The problem with this is all of a sudden, your boyfriend starts thinking about his ex, because you dont let him forget it, and he remembers the good times with her because lately, your all consumed about it and not that much fun. Then he permanently pulls away or leaves because. He figures, if he's going to get punnished repeatedly for something he didn't do, then why bother. In other words.....if you cant beat them, join them. Now in the end, you get to tell yourself that you had this suspician all along. But the reality is, you forced it to happen. What you feared, you created. So be careful......all the way around. I dont suggest blindly trusting anyone, however, you cant rake them across the coals every day because your insecure either. Good luck to you.
Melissa





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