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Vallady - I can actually see both sides of this. On the one hand, he IS married. If you were totally over the romantic side of your relationship with this man and really just wanted nothing more than platonic friendship, and that's all he wanted, and his wife knew and was cool with it, then I'd say no problem. But that's not what's really going on here, is it?

BUT...on the other hand, I can name off the top of my head five women everyone knows who have been happily, blissfully married for years, decades in some cases, to men who were married to the wrong woman when they met. It happens. Sometimes you make a mistake and marry the wrong person and are stuck with the wrong person when your soul mate comes along. These five men fell in love with these women, divorced their wives and are now very happily mated with the women they left their wives for. I don't think any of these women schemed and connived to get these men away from their wives, I think the love that formed just happened. Four of these five women I'm thinking of are Christian, God-fearing women. I don't think any actual sex happened before the divorces happened, well, in four of the five cases, but they just fell in love. One guy even asked his ex wife for her blessing to marry the woman he left her for, and she gave it. She knew he loved her, had really loved her for a long time, and she made him happy in a way he had never been happy before. It's sad that the ex wife is in her late 40s and still alone, and probably always will be, with three teenagers worth of baggage, but you know, that's life. I personally don't think there's really anything that noble in denying yourself happiness and being with your soul mate just because he happens to be married to the wrong woman at the time, and expecting him to stay languishing in a miserable marriage.

Is that what's going on here? I don't know. I think most likely he has no idea the feelings he's stirred up in you and is probably just a little bored in his married life and is looking for a little spice. I think you have to look out after your own interests. Conduct yourself like a lady and be fair. It sounds like you want to and intend to continue contact with him, even though you told him to stop contacting you. Do you think you could be just friends with him and be a friend TO him without being hurt or upset at the fact that he's married? That's playing with fire, but I think if you value the friendship and can just be his friend without really expecting anything more, then fine. Though his wife should be in on the fact that he's in contact with you. Now, even though you've had all these feelings for him rekindled, you didn't really say anything in your post to indicate even the possibility of his feeling the same about you. After all, he is married, and you must keep that in mind, for your own sake as much as anyone else's. A certain famous sports figure now has mistresses coming out of the woodwork like termintes, and some of them are saying how he owes them an apology. well, no, he doesn't. They knew he was married. You mess with a married man, I mean have sexual relations with him knowing what the score is, you are really asking to get used and hurt. No matter what you decide to do, be honest, and be a lady.





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