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Visit my dad?
Apr 16, 2010
So my father was absent for most of my life. He left when I was 6. I remember many times as a child him calling and saying that he was on his way to pick to me up to do something fun and he would just never show. From ages 7-12 I can count on one hand the number of times I seen him. I have always been close with his parents, my grandparents and I spent many weekends there. He knew that I was there but he never bothered to show up there either. When I was 12 my grandmother (his mother) died. I seen him at the funneral. We hugged he told me he loved me and that summer I spent a couple weekends with him. I guess the novelty of being a father wore off and things went back to the way they were. A few years after my grandmothers death my grandfather and father bought a house together about 3 hours from where I live. My grandfather and brother are quite close (brother is also my fathers child - 6 years younger and has had very little contact with our father) and he would spend a few weekends of the year at their place. I was never invited to go. One weekend my brother was going up and I kind of invited myself. I was 17. If I was in a room my father would leave the room. We really didn't speak at all. I never went back. My brother eventually stopped going too for similar reasons.

3 years ago (age 20) I found my dad on a social networking site and I decided to wish him a happy birthday. We started talking online. He again told me he loved me and that he was sorry for the way things turned out. We talk here and there online. A year after we started talking I was planning a trip with my boyfriend. My dad offered to give me money for said trip. He drove down we met in a coffee shop and he gave me $1000.00. It was the first gift he had given me since I was 6. I haven't seen him since but we do talk casually online. He sent my a birthday card with money in it. Last month my cell phone broke and he mailed me a new one.

My grandfathers birthday was in March so I called him to say happy birthday. I haven't seen him in forever so I told him that I would come down for a visit in April as I would be finished with school. He said that would be fine and to call him before I came. I sent my dad a message online (April 3rd) asking if the 18th would be a good time to visit. He said that would be good and that he will make the time. It is now the 16th of April and I haven't heard anything back from him. I kind of feel like he should send me a message asking if I am still coming or make some mention of it. We have not spoke since. I am not sure what to do... I feel like if I message him to confirm that I am the one pressing it and that maybe he really doesn't want me to come. Maybe he forgot? If I really wanted to see someone I wouldn't forget. I never confirmed a date with my grandfather... maybe I should call him and ask him if the 18th is ok? I know this seems kind of silly but it is causing me a lot of anxiety. I am not totally sure that I want to go... It is going to be extremley awkward and it makes me feel kind of vulnerable and stupid. Should I wait for tomorrow? Maybe he will send me a message tomorrow? Should I just forget the whole thing? Maybe neither of them want to see me? I was the one that suggested I visit in the first place... I don't know what to do...

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