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I came across this site for a class assignment and realized its a great way to get advice! wow!

Here is my dilema:

I broke up with my boyfriend of SIX years about 4 months ago. We had a great relationship WHEN he was a nice person or WHEN I said yes to his every demand and wish. He was verbally abusive, had no goals, put me and my family through so much, depended on me financially, and I had lost my own self identity & interests by making my life all about HIM!

I broke up with him for all that and because he only wanted to party!!!! He was ruining his life! I thought by breaking up with him he would realize he needs to make a drastic change also.

When I first broke up with him he called me saying he was going to kill himself. Of course I went to talk to him. And he got through it. But he still depressed. I told his family, but that didn't get him into therapy or anything.

As for me, I have gotten my life back and have completely 100% turned my "stuck in a rut life" completely around! And all this in just 4 months!

I am very happy to be achieving so much now, but I do get sad that he is not a part of my life at all and is doing so horrible. He texts me everyday. And I always respond. He tells me he wants get back together and will change for me. I tell him I can't, he has hurt me too much, and he needs to just grow up and become a man.

Do you guys think I need to stop talking to him completely? I love him a lot, and truly would get back with him if I ever did see a change and maturity. I know that is wishful thinking. I was already waiting for a long time for him to "grow up" but still want to be there if he ever does. Is that wrong? Is that selfish to tell him? But it is very hard for me to have him completely out of my life. Is it confusing for him if we try and be friends and keep texting and emailing? Am I making our lives more complicated?

He needs a lot of help in every aspect of his life and it makes me sad he has ruined his life and still is strugging at his moms house with no job, no hs diploma, no drivers license or car, and no girlfriend.

Thanks for any feedback!

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