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Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. We never had any massive problems and we have never had any huge arguments. We traveled the world and we always appreciated each other. I literally thought that this was as good as it gets, and we were heading towards marriage.

And then this past weekened I found out that he went on a trip with a coworker to boston and lied. He said it was a guy trip. (he works for an airline so flying is easily accessible). I was upset and I was angry. After days of huge arguments and staying up till 4 fighting.... (him begging me to forgive him) i finally realized that I couldn't imagine myself without him.

So a few days ago I told him i could work through his lie and we can do it togehter...as long as i knew the truth. So when we started talking, he started expressing himself.

Then i told him that I wanted to be with him, as long as he was 100% there. Then he starte dthinking and he said he loves me and he knows everyhting will lead to me... but he just doesnt know anymore. And i asked what didn't he know, and he said he doesn't even know...so we broke up. we broke up t him saying he'll be back and he just needs time.

Ive talked to their friends and its the same thing...he wants to be with me and he loves me, but he is confused. He mentioned saying that he felt like if we wer eto get together then we'd end up getting married and etc etc. Also hes worried because we've been arguing over time.

So now im here...waiting and annxious. Am i suppose to just move on...or am i just suppose to wait. he said hes optimistic that it'll be me...but he needs time. I kinda gave into the weakness and asked if he had time to talk later today....but he hasnt answered...

what should i do?
[QUOTE=mabent;4239180]Hi - I'd like to know your approximate age. It seems to me that you really love this guy, have fun when you're with him, etc. Had he committed himself to you, or had you just assumed that he had?
I realize that he "cheated" on you. But now he is being honest about his feelings, it seems. I don't think he's stringing you along. I think he really means it when he says he loves you. It would be different if he were your husband and had taken marriage vows.
I'm only advising you not to 'cut off your nose to spite your face'. I agree that you shouldn't be calling him; let him do the calling so that he'll realize how much he misses you. If you call him, then you are assuring him that you will always be there. If I were in your place, I would keep talking to him and not bring up committing to marriage but tell him that you, too, will continue to date while continuing to see him when you're available. That could cause him to come to his senses. At least, you can feel that you have the upper hand and will keep him guessing. Good luck!:angel: Mabent[/QUOTE]

The above is what I wrote a few weeks ago. Now I've totally changed my opinion about what is going on with you and your 'boyfriend' (so-called!).
He's a real jerk and isn't worth one more minute of your time. Even if he says he loves you but is 'confused', etc., etc., he doesn't mean one word of it.
Perhaps if you want to give him the benefit of a doubt, he's just too immature to decide about ANYTHING. But, this won't change; and if you let him keep stringing you along you will miss all the fun you could be having without him to worry about. When I was engaged to my ex-husband years ago, we went to a fortune teller who told me that my ex was a person who would never want to be "fenced in". I just laughed. Well, as it turned out, he was a terrible, verbally-abusive husband. I stayed with him because I was sure that he must love me or he wouldn't have married me. Now I'm older and divorced and missed out on years of happiness. I do have 3 wonderful children, so it wasn't a complete waste. Just know that men like that never change - they can't really love anyone but themselves! I hope you'll take the advice of the very wise women who have written these posts urging you to give him up. :angel::) Mabent





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