It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[QUOTE=leolady;4280103]Hijack away. Very grateful to read the words that you wrote. My GF says he is too much hard work and that I can do better. However, I love him very much, a lot of his AS things make him more lovable to me. Also, I think there is a sort of woman that can love an AS man, my heart has always known that the has found life to be very difficult. He has told me that all of his life he has known that he just doesn't fit in, he was raised in a very weird way by his mum, I definitely believe she is AS. At he moment he has decided that he doesn't want to be in a relationship. This is very hard for me and I do not know what to do next. I also want to find out how to be the best support and friend to him. He has been through enough and people have really hurt him. What really upsets me at the moment is that I understand and have educated myself about AS. I can now let a lot of the unfortunate things he says and does go. I have also learned to be realy specific when we communicate and not to use inuendo or sarcasm. I also explain to him clearly when he has unintentionally hurt me or sometimes other people. It's a fine line, one of the things I have learned is that a simple opinion or question can be percived as criticism. I don't think many people know about AS, many that do cannot be bothered with AS people because they are hard work. The withdrawals and silences used to hurt and frustrate me, I thought they meant he just didn't care, now I know he was just overwhelmed and needed to zone out. When he is under stress from other people or events I now know to leave him alone and if he starts to take it out on me, I simply explain that he is angry and frustrated by outside situations and please do not vent on me and he simply says ok, sorry". I find my AS man to be basically tender and gentle and really quite naive. He doesn't see when people are making fun of him, pulling faces behind his back etc. etc. He sees everyone as being nice and friendly unless he sees or knows that they are not like that, een then he will try and find an excuse for them. Might be a better world if there were more people like that![/QUOTE]

I couldn't agree more with everything you've said.
Yes, I do think some of us are meant to be with an AS. If nothing else I'm known for my perseverence! :)

It is amazing how similar your situation seems to mine. I'm certain my bf's mom had AS as well, he's told me about her 'silent periods' which I interpret as shutdowns. From some of the stories he's told me, she treated him appallingly.

I've done some nasty things to him as well, when I look back to our time together. I didn't know better, and I regret it with all my heart now.
Like crying to him hysterically every time he shutdown, prodding him and forcing him to look at me. From my research I know now that this is possibly the worst thing I could've done to him. Forcing him into taking vacations with me, getting him into hard emotional situations in public places like restaurants -- wow what a nightmare I've been to him.
Yet he is still with me, and Im grateful that I still have a chance.

That is.. I hope I still have the chance.
Few days ago I spoke to him about what I've been reading on AS, and lightly suggested that he fit the profile. He almost immediately shutdown and I've been leaving him alone since. I'm scared that he might try to deny it and deny me along with it.
We'll see...

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:32 AM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!