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Yesterday was my 24th birthday. My boyfriend and I had plans to go to dinner together after he finished work. My mom thought she was invited and when I told her that it was just me and him she started crying so I invited her. My boyfriend finished work at 3 and when I told him that my mom was coming too he got angry. He said that he wanted it to just be us and that he was hungry now and didn't want to wait til 6 for my mom to finish work. I felt angry that it was my birthday and that he was whining and complaining. I felt like he should have just sucked it up. We ended the conversation civilly and we both said I love you. I felt angry that my mom was crying, my boyfriend and was whining and I was stuck somewhere in between. My mom found out that my boyfriend didn't want her to go and she started crying again. When he called me back I told him that she was upset and asked him to please be nice. He again went on with how it was rude of her to invite herself and how he has been up since 5 am for work and that he is tired etc. etc. I told him to forget the whole thing and that I wasn't going. I turned my phone off and locked myself in my room because they were both getting on my nerves. It really upset me that he wasn't able to put his own feelings aside and consider mine, on MY birthday. I didn't answer my phone for hours and he ended up driving over to my house. I told him how I felt and told him that I didn't want to be with him anymore. He cried and I sat there stone faced telling him that it was over. He left in tears.

We fight often. He is easy to anger and he yells. Yells about traffic. Yells if he upsets me and I cry. Complains and gets mad if things don't go his way.

We have been together 6 years.

I love him. He has been there with me through all the bad stuff. He is my best friend. He is sweet. He has shown me over and over again how much he loves me. I am comfortable with him. All my future plans include him. I can't see my life without him. I really love him.

I am sick of being yelled at. I am sick of hearing him yell. It is draining. We can fight and he can yell and scream and an hour later everything is perfect.

I am not perfect. I am damaged. I have issues with my father who left me when I was very young. I was sexually assaulted as a teenager by an acquaintance. Both of these things effect me very deeply and I have abandonment and trust issues with men. I am easy to make cry. Perhaps too sensitive. Suspicious and untrusting.

I recently started talking to my father again. My boyfriend and I went to visit him a couple weeks ago for the first time in years. Things went well and I was hopeful that we would start a relationship. After our visit my boyfriend with good intentions invited my dad to have dinner with us on my birthday. He made up an excuse as to why he couldn't. That hurt.

I feel like I am not important. Not worthy of a mans respect. I feel that way when my boyfriend yells at me. I think all this baggage I carry around really effects my relationship with him. I have these unrealistic expectations. Everything hurts my feelings. If I feel I am being criticized it shatters me.

I feel like I made a mistake. My boyfriend has lots of good qualities. Qualities I love but when he gets mad/annoyed/frustrated with me I put up a wall I try to to protect myself and it makes everything worse.

I don't want to be with anyone else. Just thinking about his face makes me cry. I love him deeply. I feel like I screwed everything up. I hurt him. I think things are over for good. I can't get out of bed. I can't eat.

I have this unexplainable connection to him. He had a pretty dysfunctional home life too and instead of crying he yells.

I don't know what to do.... He is an amazing person and I feel like this can be fixed yet I feel I like it can't.





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