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Relationship Health Message Board


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Yes my mother is still married to him. She has her head so far in the sand, she is of no help to me. She used to cry all the time over his abuse and shameless cheating. Now she pretends none of it happened. Though he continues to abuse her to this day - he screams at her, calls her names, blames her for everything, treats her like a servant, lies to her, cheats, condescends.

Though she used to talk openly about his abuse, now she denies it. She does anything he tells her, including bullying me to serve his needs.

Despite being completely subservient to him, she is VERY selfish and demanding in her relationship with me. She throws tantrums, give me the silent treatment, lies to me, etc. She is also very paranoid and thinks everyone is talking about her. (Often people DO talk about her - as in, why would she stay and let herself be treated that way.)

In my opinion, my mother doesn't want to admit that he's abusive because that would be admitting she subjected her own children to that abuse.

She also feels slighted that I won't leave my children with her. I can't trust her because the one time I left my son with her, the first thing she did was call my father to come over behind my back. I'm sad that I can't trust her, but she made her bed and now she has to lie in it.

(For the record, my husband and I are not crazy overprotective of the children. We are comfortable leaving them with my in-laws overnight because they are loving and attentive.)





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