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My "niece" (ex's niece, to whom I'm very close) is going through something not really the same, but a bad situation. Her BF doesn't like her to go anywhere without him. Every time I take her somewhere (I'm pretty much her only friend, all her friends have given up), her BF gives her a hard time. He demands oral sex from her in order for him to give his "permission" for her to go somewhere and if she doesn't for some reason, he starts an argument. Then, the entire time she's out, he bombards her with calls and texts...non-stop, until she's in tears. He accuses her of being drunk, using drugs and hooking up with guys. Then, when she gets home (they live together), he berates her for days, "punishing" her for having the nerve to have any friends or activities without him. She's finally concluded that it's just too much of a hassle to deal with his crap, so she's decided to just sit at home all the time. She's started ignoring my calls and texts (her BF hates me because I take her shopping, to lunch and to other activities, therefore I'm evil) or she makes up weak excuses to not get together with me. She's only "allowed" to spend time with her other aunt or her grandfather...that's it. So now she lives this sad life where she just sits at home doing nothing. He even put a password on the computer so she can't talk to anyone online, and he bought her a new phone with a new number (he paid for it, so he has the right to decide who she talks to with it!!!).

This is such a sad situation, because she does have a supportive family who will help her, but she chooses to stay with him because she feels she has nowhere else to go, and he keeps insisting he "loves" her and can't live without her. All I can do is let her know that I am here if she needs me and if things ever get out of hand she has people who can help. This guy has shoved her around a few times, but he convinced her it was her fault for making him angry (talking to a friend, not giving him oral sex when he demands it).

I know you're trying to prevent your sister from getting into this kind of situation. All you can do is let her know you love her and always will, and if she ever needs anything all she has to do is let you know. And tell her she never needs to feel ashamed or embarassed if she needs help, because you'd never blame her or give her a hard time.
[QUOTE=Redneon82;4247003]My "niece" (ex's niece, to whom I'm very close) is going through something not really the same, but a bad situation. Her BF doesn't like her to go anywhere without him. Every time I take her somewhere (I'm pretty much her only friend, all her friends have given up), her BF gives her a hard time. He demands oral sex from her in order for him to give his "permission" for her to go somewhere and if she doesn't for some reason, he starts an argument. Then, the entire time she's out, he bombards her with calls and texts...non-stop, until she's in tears. He accuses her of being drunk, using drugs and hooking up with guys. Then, when she gets home (they live together), he berates her for days, "punishing" her for having the nerve to have any friends or activities without him. She's finally concluded that it's just too much of a hassle to deal with his crap, so she's decided to just sit at home all the time. She's started ignoring my calls and texts (her BF hates me because I take her shopping, to lunch and to other activities, therefore I'm evil) or she makes up weak excuses to not get together with me. She's only "allowed" to spend time with her other aunt or her grandfather...that's it. So now she lives this sad life where she just sits at home doing nothing. He even put a password on the computer so she can't talk to anyone online, and he bought her a new phone with a new number (he paid for it, so he has the right to decide who she talks to with it!!!).

This is such a sad situation, because she does have a supportive family who will help her, but she chooses to stay with him because she feels she has nowhere else to go, and he keeps insisting he "loves" her and can't live without her. All I can do is let her know that I am here if she needs me and if things ever get out of hand she has people who can help. This guy has shoved her around a few times, but he convinced her it was her fault for making him angry (talking to a friend, not giving him oral sex when he demands it).

I know you're trying to prevent your sister from getting into this kind of situation. All you can do is let her know you love her and always will, and if she ever needs anything all she has to do is let you know. And tell her she never needs to feel ashamed or embarassed if she needs help, because you'd never blame her or give her a hard time.[/QUOTE]

I'm so sorry about your niece. I think it's great you're staying in her life. I've been the only one to really hang on in my sister's too, except our immediate family. I've been reading a book called "why does he do that" and it's about abusive and controlling men and describes her boyfriend to a t. If she could read it, preferably away from him for her safety, it might help her. Prayers and thoughts are with you.





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