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[QUOTE=justmel30;4247925]I never said you were a bad mom, and although I think the things you are doing and have sacrificed for your kids are great, I still have to go with my origional instinct. Although you may feel ready for a new relationship, something tells me your kids aren't. And I think I would go on the side of caution, instead of putting myself blatently "out there" and chasing after this cop, or any man for that matter. I'm a single mom too, only my husband passed away. I thought I was ready for a new relationship, but it did more harm then good. It's been 4 months since we left, and although at first, my children seemed unharmed by everything, it wasn't until just recently that I realized how very deeply the new relationship had affected them. My oldest son just told me the other day in fact that he hopes I dont get another boyfriend for a long time because he likes it better when it's just us. Now I understand that you cant let your children run your life, however, being a mom is kinda like signing a very long term contract that says you will sacrifice anything it takes to give your kids the best. My point to all of this is, dont break the contract now. Especially considering they are all doing so much better. Give it time.[/QUOTE]

I understand where you are coming from and yes, my kids have been thru a lot. But there are some differences here, your husband passed away (sorry for you loss), my husband just made me die inside. We have not been together for many years, way beyond me leaving him. I fell out of love with this man many years ago and love him as I would anyone I have known for this amount of time. I do not have hate for him for the things he has done cuz he is sick and needs help. But I had always thought to stand behind him because i chose to get married thru thick and thin. Well it made me thin and wore me down.

Now I can tell you this, I am not ready to just date any man. I have had men made advances at me frequently now. My friends say I carry myself differently again and I feel good. I have never been the type to have interest in more than one person. Maybe in a way my cop friend is my knight in shining armor but I have known this man since July now. I moved out and still waited months before making my feelings known. Him being nice is one thing. But when you start throwing comments out there about being flustered, it is hard watching me walk away, that I look good, etc., that is more than being nice, at least that is the way I take it.

I would never bring anyone into my life if I did not feel my boys are worth it. My daughter is 18 now and every day asks me what is going on with him. She likes him a lot and what he has done for her brother. My oldest calls me to tell me that he just ran into him or that he asked if I was doing ok. This man deals with all the boys in the area and most of them have single moms. I am the only one that he asks about, the only one he says to make sure i know he said hi. The other boys comment when they come over about when are me and Officer ***** going out. I just laugh and them and tell them I dont get in there business. My youngest got upset recently because a strange man literally ran after me in a parking lot to ask me if i wanted to go to the beach with him. His comment was where is Officer ******* when you need him. I know both of my boys have an attachement to him and this may scare him to. The way he implied the conflict of interest was that he did not want to make my son upset if something did not work. I understand this completely.

And the last comment. My boys tell me on regular occassions that they want me to meet someone that is going to care for me and not disrespect me or call me names. I believe they are as ready as I am. If I had any doubts I would not be chasing after anyone.

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