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Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to respond. This forum may be a saving grace for me and for our relationship. I definitely have something wrong with me and I would like to get past it because I really do care for her.

Larrylou'smom: you are absolutely correct. I am not your typical guy. While I enjoy sex, I don't look at it as just something fun to do. I have had two partners (counting my current girlfriend) in my life and I don't want to have many throughout my lifetime. I was brought up in a very respectable Italian family and I guess this is where this comes from. That's not to say that someone who has sex more often or with more people was not brought up in a respectable family, but I'm just explaining where I may have got this from.

When we first discussed this (my girlfriend and I) we talked about all of her past partners. She told me the situation, how she was ashamed of them, etc. She had some difficult ones (two where when she was in her first year in college and was just not being smart), and the other three were relationships (not long ones) that she was in with someone. One guy actually took her to get a tattoo at a very shady place and she ended up getting MRSA from their and had to get a procedure done for that. She's always been open with me and that's why I really don't feel like she's lying to me. I think, if anything, she's afraid that I'm going to judge her and feels intimidated because I had one partner and a long relationship while she had more than one.

On our first date, we really could tell me hit it off and things got a little hot and heavy. We didn't have sex, but were pretty close and probably would have if I had protection. I think this plays a part in my thinking because I feel like if she was like that with me on our first date then was she with others? We actually both admitted the next day that it wasn't normal for us to be like that (me included). We felt a connection between us and probably took things further than we should have on a first date.

The more I think about what happened yesterday, the more I feel like she probably didn't tell me the truth about this druggie because she was ashamed. I believe she did meet him on "MySpace" and I think she's probably ashamed that she was stood up and that she even wanted to date someone like that. She originally told me that she was sent on a blind date with him with her friend.

As I type all of this up, I think I'm realizing that I read too much into this. The initial shock of hearing something different than what I was told got the best of me and now I'm paying for it.

I don't know how to proceed at this point. We talked briefly over text messages last night and she explained to me once again that she was not keeping anything from me. She said that I need to trust her and she feels like I don't. She said she can't worry that if someone says something to me or if she explained something wrong is going to set me off. She repeatedly said she needs me to trust her.

On top of all of this, her mother was sitting in the room with her when we got into our argument yesterday. She's very close with her, and her mother is currently recovering from a procedure which makes me feel even more like shit for bringing this up. Her mother is a very understanding person, but I know she was a bit bothered by me bringing this up (and she's aware of our past arguments about this since her and her daughter are close).

I'm at a loss. I'm sorry my post is so long but it's because I have so many things running through my head. Since our argument, I have done nothing but sleep (since about 5PM yesterday until this morning) and I'm ready to go lay back down and sleep some more. Thank you again for everyone taking the time to respond to this. :(





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