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I'd also seriously consider getting caller ID. We have some similar issues with people dropping by, but checking to see if we're home first and overstaying their welcome. You're dealing with a very selfish individual who needs to be the center of attention, create drama....[/QUOTE]

I would get caller ID if she ever called. But she just shows up at our door.

I didn't send the letter and I don't intend to. I'd rather talk to her in person if need be.
I spoke with my husband and he said that next time when she just shows up we will have to talk about it and if we can't host her then that's that.

I think a big issue was he was letting her stay without really consulting me. Then of course I ended up making the specailized meals, and generally taking care of her. Even though he ends up participating more in her conversations than me, it still disrupts my evening (when she normally arrvies) because I like to enjoy quiet evenings with my husband watching a movie or the sort. I also asked him to tell her that she needs to leave first thing in the morning.

Can you tell I don't really like visitors? Actually I do, when I get enough notice. And if someone shows up at my door who is obviously in need, I will bend my back backwards to help. But this lady does not NEED our help, she wants to use us.

I spoke with the pastor's wife the other day. My conflict was- do I be the good samaritan to the same person over and over even when I feel like I'm being taken advantage of? Her reply was no. She agreed that this lady is selfish and thinking about no one other than herself. She thought there has to be a judgment call depending on each situation. She didn't think I should bar her from my home completly (which I agree) but if I see that she really is in need- help her but be firm with ground rules. I thought that was sound advice.

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