It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....

Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

[QUOTE=ibake&pray;4257951][COLOR="Navy"]Personally, if I were "your" girl, I would feel like I was being stalked. You can't let her go, you are obsessed with her. Some people don't like being the object of someone's intense desire. You may be just more than she can handle. If you have stalked her like you have written, I cn see where she is overwhelmed. She asks you to leave it alone and you text her, see her, Skype's all too much!

Let it go, let her go and find your life, your real life. And I don't think it includes her. If it is to be, it will be. But you can't force someone to like, want, love you. It just doesn't work like that. Turn your back and start afresh and find someone that will take you for yourself and what you can offer.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

so, it would be a good idea for you and i to open up some discourse about , why your opinion is as it is, and maybe this will help gain some better insight into my problem, in which case, would be a positive step for me.

you should be aware, that i have not been diagnosed by a mental health professional, i have looked into myself, and my past history,is why i shared with you, the incidents of dysfunctional family relationships, especially with my mother. and history of sexual abuse.

i think that this information i am sharing about my past, is a root to my problem, and what i think i suffer from is obsessive love disorder.

although, i must point out, that i am not at all interested in "possessing" or any of the other extreme characteristics described as someone with an obsessive love disorder have, but there are somethings that lead me to think that this is what i am suffering from. i think i certainly can be a nuisance or a bit complicated, but i definitely do not harbor any bad intentions towards ,the woman i am speaking about, i am just at odds with myself and in a difficult and painful situation , because, i AM heartbroken over the fact her and i no longer together, kind of confused about that we are both interested in being friends with each other,but, she has not given us a chance for our friendship to really grow, not lately, but, this is where i think that my being worried about time is a problem, and its that i just really want to make the effort to grow with her in a meaningful friendship relationship.

so, is why it is my opinion that i completely disagree that my actions can be considered that of a "stalker".

so, i will ask you, why do you have this opinion? because, is it not completely normal, that if someone says, "i would like to be your friend." that you would see them, call them and help them and spend time with them?

if she told me, i do not want to be your lover and please do not contact me, i would act accordingly, for sure.

i have honestly been willingly un-intrusive. i am just completely not understanding, why she chooses not to see me at all when she understands that i love her and care about her, she has told me that this is nice for her, that she knows that i feel this way, and that she offered her friendship to me because she really likes me and its possible for us to help eachother. which, i do, currently helping her, with her art interest and like i said, we both do something, with art and music, so i include her in what i am doing, helping her out by giving her some opportunities.

so, yes, a few days have passed since i first contacted this website,and obviously, i did this in order to get help. and in the last days, i have taken into great consideration the advice that has been given to me. although, i do not agree, that completely cutting ties with her, is the best thing for me to do. i have just decided to practice patience, to try to understand her, from her point of view and to embrace the situation accordingly and not discard the love i have in my heart for her. to appreciate everything in the good moments that are true and real and not to be so worried about what is not .... hard to do, because i have her on my mind, i miss her a lot ....i am trying really hard not to be concerned with her business, she has told me, lately,that she is not so good with herself and well,i just hope she gets better with this, i wish that i could do something to help, but i do not think she is interested in help from me, i think she really wants to help herself. anyway, i am getting side tracked, i am just trying to let you know all the details , and i think writing about it helps, because i am in a city where i have very few friends here, so i do not see so many people very often.

life is short, and time is precious, most of the time, things are typical for people, because, society has imposed on us certain rules and not every situation is typical where the "rules" apply.

i, with complete and total honesty, believe that her and i, although difficult at the moment,the relationship that we do have is extraordinary, and i choose to embrace the extraordinary things i experience in my life, because i have been through very much of that which is not.

so, i have also read other post you have made,in regards to matters of the heart between men and women, and it is my opinion,that you seem harbor some sort of resentment towards men, and you have every right in the world to feel the way you do, your life experience is unique to you, and i do not judge you for having an opinion, like the opinions you have expressed.

so, i am just curious about why you wrote to me with this kind of response?

i do not want to be in denial or to falsely think i am something i am not, i am looking for help.

as for my situation, as it is right now, i am dealing with it in the only ways i know how to right now, i hope i am doing the right things, its really all that i can do. i do not know how things are going to turn out, i just really hope for the best,and as far as she is concerned, i just wish the very very best for her, and if i actually do love her, than i now understand, that which is only the very best should come from me towards her. to act any other way would be a contradiction to my love for her. her and i will see eachother again one day. and i have made a commitment to her, and i just hope to learn as go along and not make the same mistakes i have made in the past.

thank you very much for taking the time to read this

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:36 AM.

© 2020 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!