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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=Look2TheHorizon;4258348]I agree (eventhough I don't want to as it breaks my heart). I think you are right about her just liking me for a night a week or whatever as I can be there for her to calm her, make her happy, and be a stable/reliable piece of her life. I'm starting to feel used and since I've brought that up she is more like "I just don't know if we will work out." She still texts me (right now for example) and says that the reason I'm trying is because I'm scared. This may well be true but at least it confirms my belief that I care so much about her. At the same point it keeps me attached to her when I should probably just "move on." I guess if I felt I knew how to do that I would. But, like in my last relationship, I feel like I'll remain attached until she moves on. In my last relationship I held on until the girl told me she was dating someone else (that time we were together for 5 years and I was still scared she wanted someone else when we were together but it was less visible). It makes me feel like such a "weakling" or a baby or something but I always want to have a girlfriend... Maybe moving away for a while and being out on my own would help? I just graduated from grad school so I'm looking for jobs and it would be an easy time to find a new place as I no longer have any attachments here. Still, even right now, I'm coming up with reasons that we should get back together and ways it will work out. I wish there was a way to just shut my brain off or something so I didn't convince myself that things will be back the way they were all the time. Ugh! I annoy myself...[/QUOTE


Ok, so you really want a girlfriend. I recently went through a period of time where I really wanted a boyfriend. What happened was, I was so desperate for somebody, that I ended up accepting anybody. A man who was so completely selfish, abusive, and worthless, that I would have been better off getting a smelly dog from the pound! Fast forward to today....I'm pregnant, and alone. But I learned one heck of a lesson! I would rather be alone for the rest of my life, then ever accept just "anybody" ever again. Sometimes, esepecially when we are talking about chosing a partner to share a part of your life with, it pays to be a little picky. It hurt like hell what this guy did to me, and I'm sure it hurts you too what this girl is doing to you. But it wont stop, and you might as well NOT be a weakling, accept that, and go get something better. And maybe something better isn't a relationship. Maybe it's a new car, of a hobby! I realized shortly after Mr. Horrible left, that I wasn't anymore in love with him then he was with me.......NOBODY COULD LOVE SOMEBODY LIKE THAT. What I was in love with, was the fantasy of happily ever after that I had created. It's a great fantasy, and I wont even say it's impossible. But like I said before, it takes the right person to help it come true, not just anybody. So chin up, there's hope.....just not with this girl. And starting over can be fun! For instance, my day is mine again. I dont have to worry about being abused for trying to go back to school, or for putting on makeup, or for visiting my family, or for cleaning my house, or for not cleaning my house. My day's are mine again, and although it's a little more work doing everything by myself...at least my life belongs to me again. I never knew how much it meant to me, until I gave it away. Dont be a fool! lol. Good luck!





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