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I'd like to find whoever it was that came up the the notion of "closure" and throw them off a cliff...

The fact is, there is no magic combination of words or deeds that will make a dumpee say "oh, I get it! I'm totally fine and healed from the whole thing and now I can go on with my life, happy and content, and never, ever feel sadness, regret or heartbreak over our breakup ever again!" It is a complete fallacy...no matter what she says or does, you still want to be with her as a committed couple and she doesn't. Period.

I know you fear having her out of your life completely, but here's how I see it: you have two choices. #1 - Cut off all contact because it hurts you terribly to only have a night with her every 2 weeks or so while knowing about all the other nights she's spending with other guys..or #2, which is continue as you are, knowing how many nights she's hanging out with other guys and be 100%, HONESTLY, TRULY OK WITH IT. If you're not 100% honestly, truly ok with it, then option #2 will do nothing but bring you jealousy and pain, PLUS it will prolong the heartbreak and misery. At least with option #1 you have the chance to heal and maybe even meet another wonderful girl who wants to be with you and only you.
[QUOTE=Look2TheHorizon;4260235]Aww you changed it :( I liked the part about how there could be a (very slight) possibility of a "fresh start" it was hopeful... Not that I should be hopeful or that I had innitiated anything like that as I've just been through telling her that I can't be her friend while she is on her own, maybe or maybe not doing whatever (flirting, dating, blah) with other guys. Just the thought of her with someone else at all (even just kissing) makes me tense up and want to cry... She says that she understands that I "can't be her friend without being her boyfriend" but that she "can't be my girlfriend now." Whatever that means. I always want to take things like that from her hopefully like "now" as in "right now" not "now" as in "anymore" but it probably is best if I don't. I have decided (at least trying REALLY hard to) just let things be (not texting her) and wait for her to make the next move. I told her she "holds all the cards" but she said to take some because she doesn't want them. I have no idea... I just want her to come to a decision! Why can't she just say "I Don't want you anymore" or "I Do want you and only you but I just need some time"? It's the limbo that I am in that is killing me. My heart wants SO badly to wait for her but my brain says that will just end in even greater heartache.

I know this probably doesn't make any sense as it makes very little to me; but at least getting my thoughts, emotions, and ramblings out there for someone to possibly read makes me feel like I'm doing something... :([/QUOTE]

Lol, yeah I changed it, sorry :) After I wrote my previous response, I thought about it more and changed my answer because it's very unlikely for your situation. It's one thing to play with a "fresh start" in your mind, and another story to put it into motion in real life. You guys don't spend much time together. She doesn't want to be your girlfriend right now. She wants to hang out with other guys. To start 'anew', you both would have to be willing participants and able to put your entire 'rocky history' behind you. Oftentimes, there's too much damage for them to work, it's difficult for alot of people to 'forgive and forget' everything. The damage is done. Plus, she'd have to agree to it. You guys have broken up before too, so there's a history of other issues going on. The whole fresh start thing just doesn't seem like a likely option.
I wouldn't hold onto the "right now" and "now" that she says. That's very vague. She may not have told you something like "it's over" or "we're done", because she didn't want to be too harsh about it, she probably feels some attachment to you since you guys were together a while, and doesn't want to kick you out of her life completely by blowing you off like that. It seems you're reading into her words too much and trying to fashion them into the meaning you want. Big mistake. That'll only give you false hope.
If she was crazy in love with you, then she wouldn't need 'more time'. How is flirting and hanging out with other guys going to make her realize how much she cares about you and the relationship?! How is kissing other guys going to 'strengthen' her feelings for you?! None of that makes any sense to me.
You really need to let this go. Get your feelings out, like you're doing, then really try to move forward.





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