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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Thanks so much :) It's like you all actually know me or something with how you can already predict my actions/emotions. I've been talking to a female friend of mine (apparently only women can understand this situation as all my guy friends think I should just have sex with her and not worry about it) but she has been really helpful as well. I think having a back and forth with someone that can push me to think critically about my situation on a deep level is helping. In a way, thinking about all these things so much recently has made me more upset with my ex and also made me second guess myself. I keep thinking that maybe she really did change these things (after a drawn out argument) and I just never accepted it. I almost wish I could believe, as she says, "that she really doesn't want anyone else" but if that was true then I wouldn't have to tell her I'm not ok with her going to her ex's, letting guys ask her out then apologizing to them, or getting guys numbers. I think she feels she has try to compromise but I haven't seen the good, only remembering the bad in the past. Maybe she really only gets guys numbers who are platonic friends and was more forward, letting everyone know that she had a boyfriend but it didn't happen on its own in the past and she never invited me out with her (afraid I would freak out if a guy hugged or touched her or something) to see how she actually interacted with them now. I guess I need to work on myself, being more understanding, forgiving, trusting, or whatever as well. I can't take back how I have felt and the worries I have had but I can try to worry less and have more faith in people to change and mean it in the future... Even if she did change, not being able to deal with me fearing she would go back to her old ways should be somewhat understandable. If she can't handle that and needs to "be able to do whatever she wants" then maybe she doesn't really care about me (at least enough to have a "grown up" relationship together)... I'm still yearning for her to want to be back together but I also feel better about my thoughts/feelings. It's nice to not feel alone when you are being hurt more than you ever thought possible :)

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