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[QUOTE=ST22;4267872]I'm just feeling really bummed right now and feel like I have no one to talk to. Talking with friends and family can only do so much, so hopefully I get some feedback. I'm sorry this might be kind of long!

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 1 1/2 years and about 2 days ago he broke up with me. Now I'm going to jump back to about 5 days ago....we had some other couples over to his house and everyone was drinking. He ended up getting pretty drunk and him and his friends girlfriend went out and apparently were talking about relationships. We have barely even hung out with her and she has the audacity to tell him that it seems like we fight a lot and are two different people (whatever that means). So I took him aside and asked him what was going on and he gave me same line she said. I basically just pushed it aside since he was drinking. The next day things were a little weird but we were okay.

Now back to the actual breakup.....I could tell something was on his mind so i finally got it out of him. He just said that he needs time to be on his own and be independent. He has always jumped from girlfriend to girlfriend and he just needs to know that he is capable of being on his own.
Some changes have been going on in the past month, which I think has a lot to do with this sudden realization of his. He recently built a house and has moved out of his parents house for the first time (he was very sheltered).

So I was devastated and did the whole scene of giving back my necklace lol i know...how dramatic. He started crying and kept saying how sorry he was and blah blah. Later that night after he talked to his best friend he called and apologized again and we decided to be "together" but just start over and take things slowly. Honestly something did need to happen because we were getting into a rut and a boring routine.

I still expected him to at least text me the next day! But no, he didn't. I kinda talked to him today (just texted) but I initiated it. I know I shouldn't but it's drives me crazy to sit here and think about it! So what the heck is going on? I don't even know what to think or feel at this point. Once again I'm so sorry that this is long. lol I understand if you just skim over it. But any opinions or advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!!![/QUOTE]


I think you need to find YOUR inner strength and independence and give him exactly what he asked for and give yourself some "me time" too. Are you familiar with "me time?" Me Time is fantastic. You turn off your phone, you go somewhere that is SO relaxing and wonderful to you and do something that makes you feel happy. Go to your favorite park and read a book. Lay in the sun. Walk around the mall. Go to a quiet secluded place and stare at the sky. Whatever it is that YOU want to do that has NOTHING to do with him, you go do it. You need to empower yourself to be strong and independent. If you think of yourself as a strong and independent woman, it will become more clear as to what decisions to make with relationships. It will be an attractive feature to him and he will want you more if he sees he can't have you so easily. What would you do if I told you he spent the day playing basketball with the guys, napping, some video games, and beers? You'd probably be like "hey, I can do my own thing too! I will paint my nails and read a magazine and give myself a facial! I won't sit here by my phone and wonder when he is going to call or text because that's exactly what he's not doing."

If he wants you back, he needs to realize that its not ok to talk to practical strangers about the issues you have. Since you said he was very sheltered, you should make sure he has some alone time to find himself. Knowing who you are, what you want, what you like, what you can't stand and what you can't live without are really important things to discover and it can be hard to do so when in a relationship. Maybe take 2 weeks if you can to mutually not talk. Then after 2 weeks, see how you feel and if you miss him and want to see him, propose to meet up and see if you really are able to "start over". See if you can talk about stuff without arguing. See if he smiles when he looks at you or if he is acting uncomfortable. If you guys don't click after having some space, it probably isn't meant to be. Good luck and keep us updated! You can always come here to vent!





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