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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

You shouldn't lose weight to make anyone else happy, and you shouldn't gain weight to spite anyone else. this is about you and how you feel about your own body. If you are constantly complaining about how you look and how unhappy you are with yourself, constantly carrying on, then I can see how he would feel the need to step in and say something. But 10 pounds isn't that much, really. If you are unhappy with your body, then that's your issue to deal with. You don't need to bring him into it by constantly complaining to him abouot how much you hate the way you look.

I think both men and women need to take care of themselves and stay in shape for themselves and for their families, simply because eating right and getting regular exercise is healthy and you will live longer with more quality of life if you eat well and keep your body flexible and tone and healthy. It's something you should do for yourself, not to please anyone else. If there's some reason you'd rather complain and gripe about your body than get to a gym and do something about it, then crash dieting to get a free vacation will not solve that deeper problem inside. Until and unless you solve that deeper problem, you will yo-yo, lose 10 gain 15, lose 16, gain 20, on and on and on. And by the way, I have to say, I really don't like the way he's going about it. He'll take you on vacation if you lose 10 pounds. Which suggests he won't take you on vacation, doesn't consider you good enough to take on vacation, if you don't. Weight, food, the loss of weight, that kind of stuff, should never, EVER be used as reward or punishment. Food is not reward, punishment, recreation or medication. It's nutrition, sometimes tasty, pleasurable nutrition, but nutrition plain and simple, and should be treated as such. This is something you have to do for you when you are ready to deal with it, not for anyone else. He's not your boss, your dad, you personal trainer, he's your boyfriend. he shouldn't be putting conditions on his love for you. He's concerned, of course, that's fine. And if you were 30 or 40 pounds overweight, I'd be more sympathetic to his side. But i think you should just tell him you love him and appreciate his wanting to help, and you know it's up to you to do something about your body when you are ready to get in the mindset to do it, but you'd like to know he considers you worthy to take on vacation whether you lose the weight or not. Him telling you you're only good enough 10 pounds lighter isn't doing anything for your self esteem, and it's hard to get up the energy and confidence to lose weight and get on a work out program and stick to it when you feel low because of low self esteem.

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