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Relationship Health Message Board

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Narcissistic Father
Jun 25, 2010
My father is and has always been a nasty mean bully. He has alienated everyone in his life and no one wants to be around him or have to deal with him in any way. He is a narcissist. I just buried my step mom and buried my mom over 20 years ago. My only brother passed away years ago so it basically has just been me. My husband tries very hard to help me as much as he can but my father has just worn me out. I want to be done with him.

We can't move - we live in the same city as my father. Thankfully he lives across town and can't drive like he used to. He is 85 and shouldn't be driving anyway but who is going to take away his keys? It will probably be the police when he piles his car into a tree. I pray that no one else will be hurt.

If I get him mad at me, he will stop talking to me for some time but it doesn't last. He will get sick or have some terrible thing happen to himself and I let him drag me back into his illness. Guilt, he's old, he has no one else, there are a million excuses why.

How can I be done with him? Has anyone just said 'no more' and it worked? I know that I need better boundries and need to tell him no, I guess I'm just not strong enough anymore. I read some of the posts about fathers like mine and my heart goes out to you because yes, there are worse situations but being or feeling trapped in mine is exhausting.

I'm not a child, my children are grown and I have grandkids. This has been going on for a long, long time and I'm sure losing my step mom to Alzheimer's recently hasn't helped my feelings but if anyone has any suggestions, they will be very welcome.

Thanks in advance for your patience with my 'rant'. We all have our crosses to bear, I guess I just need some help with mine and thankfully ended up here.

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