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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=EagleRiverDee;4275916]You said a lot about what you want...what about what he wants? Has he said? Has he said he wants a relationship with you? Does he call you his girlfriend? Has he mentioned the future?

Or- has he said he's not ready, too busy, or unsure if he can fall in love?

IMO- if he has indicated in ANY way he's not ready for a relationship then you are his "rebound" girl and if you want more you need to break things off and move on. He definitely doesn't sound emotionally available right now, despite what a great guy he is. He's obviously very busy and probably hung up on his ex. He needs to work through that on his own before he'll be ready for a relationship. Unfortunately, a lot of guys "work through" things by dating random women in a casual way. It sounds like he considers you a friend with benefits, but not future wife material.[/QUOTE]

He wants me in his life, he wants to see me and to talk to me. He does not call me his girlfriend, however I don't feel that we have done enough together to merit that. He has not said he is TOO busy. He has said that he is trying to take this extra slow because he doesn't want to rush into something and regret it like he has in the past. He wants to make sure the things he says and does with me are not being forced but really felt, if that makes any sense. He is unsure as to whether or not he can fall in love again, but I find it weird that he would put himself out there on a dating website saying he is looking for a long term relationship if he isn't ready. I sort of feel cheated, like if you're going on a website like that it is unfair to get someone interested in you and then pull back. As far as mentioning the future, he has said some things in that regard, maybe not enough for me to draw a conclusion yet as to what he wants. I think I need to do a little more investigating to find out more about his status with his ex. I think at this point it would be fair for me to say I want to date you, I want us to be an item, how does that make you feel. I think if he has any hesitation that should be a sign that he is just not ready. If he was ready he would be excited about that. I know he isn't someone who is afraid of commitment, it's just a matter of whether or not he is ready for it.
Thank you for your advice, you are right when you say that only he can fix himself and fully commit himself to this. I think I need to be a little more cautious, and just be fun and laid back about the whole thing and take my heart out of it a little more until I know what is going on with him a little more. Is there anything to be said about the fact that he says he misses me, asks how my day was, asks how i am doing and if i want to talk? I get what you're saying about the rebound girl but I really don't think that it is in his nature to have a rebound girl, I really think he is trying to find a long term relationship. I could be wrong, I won't say that I am 100% right. I'm just saying not all men want someone around just to have someone around. He's not using me in a physical way, actually he could have brought me back to his place one time and he said it was so hard not to because he wanted to but he wanted to make sure we take things slow. I guess I'm super confused! He said he was afraid! WTf! I don't know it sounds like he is afraid to move on! and I don't see why because I am awesome.





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