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Relationship Health Message Board

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My girlfriend lost her twin brother about a month after we started dating. We have been together for ten months and she is still not the girl I fell in love with. I know that she may never get completely back to that happy girl I fell for, and I still love who she is. I just need help understanding her and helping her in any way I can.

She told me yesterday that she still doesn't want to be touched and only hugs people to not hurt their feelings and that most of the time when she is not working she just wants to be alone. She has been on an anti depressent shortly after her brothers death, but she didn't like the way it made her feel so she stopped taking it. She was also seeing a psychiatrist, but had a bad experience (the guy would fall asleep in her sessions) so she has lost faith in that.

My girl is super strong and independent. She has not grieved in my opinion. She doesn't want to cry because it hurts too much. I used to try to tell her that that would be the only way for her to start healing was to feel the pain and try to work through it. She doesn't even like talking about it because it hurts her too much.

I don't know what to do anymore. I love her and am committed to her. We barely kiss and rarely have sex. I am trying to be patient. Please give me some insight or direction.

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