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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I think me and my boyfriend of 17 months broke up last night. I don't know what I should do, I don't know what is best. It started when I went to pick him up from a friend of his' city when I was on my way back from a convention over 300 miles away from home. We stopped by a winery at 11pm so it was secluded and romantic, his idea, and when he wanted to be "intimate" there and I wasn't really for it (though it sounded exciting) he gets angry because here he "did something romantic and I shot him down as always". And he began to complain that we have the sex life of a 40 year old married couple. We are 28 and my body is screwed up, I have hyperthyroidism and it decreased or something else that they haven't found wrong yet decresed my libido, it used to be much stronger a few years ago. I am also on a new birth control, implanon, so my menstrual cycle is messed up. But even so on weeks my bc isn't messing with me we have sex 2-3 times, he thinks that is low, I think that is normal. I try too, even when I am too tired after work I find the energy if we haven't been intimate in a few days. Also it bothers me when he has been drinking and his skin smells of alchohol, that's the only time I'm not that attracted to him and I am afraid of telling him that because he is overly sensitive about everything. we texted back and forth last night about how this is such a shitty end and I didn't chase after him when he just left out of the car. It was 1:15am I had to work at 8am and I had driven a total of 12 hours in a 30 hour period, I was exhausted and I couldn't do it but I was up until 3 anyway and then got sick with cold sweats and chills and stomach problems until 6 am. He went back and forth from saying he was sick of this shitty life and finds it pointless to he wasn't going to kill himself but he was dying inside. I don't know if he is manipulating me or just that screwed up about it. This is the 10 gillionth time we have fought in the last 6 months. I'm stressed over his financial situation, I have to keep myself from helping him when times get bad because of his mistakes he has made. He is a server and says he wants to get another job to pay/save more but he will go out and hang out with his friends during the week until I don't even know when anymore. I have complained about how he likes to drink alot and he always cuts back and then goes back to normal. I don't know if I can handle much more, now he is saying he needs to make things work with me and he is lost and he hasn't cried so much in his life. But if these situations keep coming up like they have I'm going to end up making my health even worse. I have bad anxiety and crappy depression already from my thyroid issue that doctors wont do anything about to help me. I'm seeing a councelor tonight for the second time and I'm not sure how she will be able to help me.
I'm lost and confused and he is normally wonderful to me and he does try to make romantic gestures but he has so many things to grow up about I don't know if I can be the one that helps him.
I just need advice I guess. Thank you for reading this far =-)

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