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Re: Another chance?
Jul 25, 2010
It seems you have internalized the victimization mode you are in, and feeling vulnerable does not help you come out of it. It is your anger that you need to release, and the feeling of indignation!
Your esteem with men is low, and it appears that you seem to identify with the event of your father leaving you, and associating it with not deserving men. You deserve a good man who makes you a priority, but you need to strengthen your self worth.
If he accepted he needs help, please don't play his therapist, unless you are qualified in that area, and even so! Let him reach out in the right areas who can help him, let some time pass, where he has displayed real core changes (6 months or so to a year), and if you still think that he is the one for you, perhaps try again but more cautiously and run out as quick as you can, if he falls into the same pattern.
Abusers, do that because they can. You seem to be passive and vulnerable in your relationship and handed over your power, but when you are fully aware, and after you remove yourself from the picture, you will restrengthen and move on. Plans which you made, while vulnerable, don't count. You owe to be fully responsible and happy when you make future plans. Can you rely on this man? You said it, he is unstable.
Get your degree, that is the most important thing for you, and get into life, where you become socially available to other people, make friends so that you don't tie youself fully to one person the way you have with this needy guy, who seems to have enormous control issues, because he fears his emotional world.
Get out, tell him to leave you alone to study and get yourself better, and for him to do the same.

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