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Relationship Health Message Board


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Hi everyone, this will be my first post here. I have a couple of things I would like to address and am really hoping for some good, honest answers. I am trying to understand my boyfriend, I'm not really looking for a "you should leave him" type answer. Ok first off, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost half a year, he is a recovering alcoholic and drug user so I understand that he is not quite in a place yet to think too much about other peoples feelings other than his own.

In a nut shell: he wants to have me as his girlfriend, yet he wants to be able to sleep with other women on the side. I'm completely in love with this guy at this point, and very confused. We've had these really intimate moments before, and I thought we were both on the same page..but apparently not. He tells me he only wants to sleep with other women for physical reasons. I'm trying my hardest to convince myself that it doesn't mean that I'm not desirable, and it doesn't mean that I'm not enough for him, and it doesn't mean that he will leave me...but this is a hard thing to convince myself. It really hurts me.

Second thing, he is SO honest about everything, but sometimes his honestly hurts! I asked him the other day if he thought I was pretty (because he rarely compliments me) and he said yes. Then I asked if he thought I was gorgeous... he said "no". This made me angry - obviously. I asked him why not and he just said gorgeous is for girls that are models etc..

What am I supposed to think of this comment? This makes me feel very undesired by him. It makes me feel like shit. I think I'm a pretty attractive women, and I know that other people do too..but I cant get over the fact that he doesn't think I'm the best. So I need some advice, how can I feel adequate and feel confident enough with myself so that what other people think doesn't matter?





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