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Good evening everyone, I posted some time ago regarding trusting my girlfriend about her past. If you are interested in reading that thread, it's located here: http://www.healthboards.com/boards/showthread.php?t=750195

As you can see from that thread, I acted pretty ridiculous. As an update, we are doing better. She was very angry at me that I did not trust her and we talked and cleared a lot of things up. As usual (me being a stupid male) I overreacted and it hurt her quite a bit.

Quick background on myself: I'm 27 years old and have had two serious relationships in my life. First was with my high school "sweetheart", we started dating when I was 17 and broke up when I was 24. I cheated on her (didn't sleep with someone else but was not trustworthy, plain and simple). I admitted this to her and we broke up about a year later. This break up was pretty hard on me, and thinking back I feel as though my ex toyed with me and kept me hanging by a string for a while (but that's a story for another day). I was single for about a year and a half and my current girlfriend and I started dating in December of 2008.

Our relationship has been great, but of course we've had our ups and downs. I haven't been the best boyfriend and I've realized that. The love has always been there but I tend to let my anger get the best of me sometimes (I'm Italian, no excuse.. I know). I realize this and have started seeing a therapist for this and my trust issues.

My girlfriend is two years younger then me and an amazing person. I can just tell she is genuine, caring and respects herself. For some reason, I got on this kick of not trusting her about her past (in my last thread). I did some stupid things that really upset her and it's been a bumpy road but we are finally on track to get things right. We just got back from a short two day vacation to St. Augustine that really was great.

Here is where I need advice. Being that I have not been in many relationships or dated, I am not very "seasoned" in this department. I was with my high school girlfriend for 7 years and things didn't work out. I met my current girlfriend and we've been dating for a year and a half now. She has been EXTREMELY honest with me about her past and how many guys she has been with (a total of 6 counting me). She actually brought up the number of partners while we were getting to know eachother on our first couple of days so we both said our number.

Like I said, she's always been very honest with me. She told me that her mother always encouraged her go on dates with guys and that there is nothing wrong with that. Since I never really experienced this I automatically assumed that if you dated someone things got serious and you slept with them. I realize that my frame of thought is completely ridiculous and out of line. Then I start thinking about those who she did get serious with and whenever we do something together (trips, certain hotels, etc) I sometimes wonder if she did this with them. This seems to come from the fact that when I was with my ex, everything was pretty much our "first" together (trips, etc).

My question to those of you who have gone through something similar is: how do you move on past this? This girl is too special to me for me to let this ruin us and I know that if I allow it to keep bothering me it will. This is simply my insecurity due to the fact that I didn't date like most and wasn't in many relationships. I am not looking to go out and "experience this" because I love her and I do feel she is the one for me (and she has said she feels this way as well). I want this to work and REFUSE to let this take me over and ruin us.

I feel that I have definitely made positive steps but occasionally I start thinking about guys she's dated and if she really liked them and all sorts of other things. I know this is childish and I'm embarrassed to even admit it which is why I feel this is the best place for me to talk about it. I trust her and don't feel that she is lying to me in any way I just can't stand when these things come into my head. It's taking an emotional toll on me. In the past, what I would do was question her on these things when they came in my head. This is what almost ruined us. She felt as if I didn't trust her and then distanced herself from me. We've finally started to move towards eachother again so when these things come into my head I just try and push them out.

I don't really know what I'm looking for in this thread other than to have you guys set me straight and tell me how stupid I am and give me some pointers on how to grow up and move past this.

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this. I appreciate anyone who reads this and takes the time to respond. :(





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