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Relationship Health Message Board


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Ok so you guys probably know me by now on here, I posted a few posts within the past 8 months or so. Well anyways, my boyfriend is from Tennessee. He moved here to New York and has been living here since October. He didn't have any friends out here, and he became really good friends with my cousin who he works with. It's the really only guy friend he has here, besides a couple of my other cousins who are males. Well a couple times he has done this, for example. Last week I worked until 6, and he was at my cousins hanging out with him, and I said ok I'll be there at 6. And he said oh your not coming inside? And I said no I told you I wanted to pick u up because I had things to do. then he says, i think thats rude that you dont even come in to say hi ( meanwhile, i see them all the time, especially my cousin's wife who just recently have a baby). Then he was all sulky saying how I never want to go over there. We see them at least twice a week, maybe even more. Then today I'm working till 6, and I told him this morning in a text message that I wanted to go fishing for a little while before it gets really dark out. He texts me back saying, "babe, fish?" and i said yea and he said ok fine i dont really want to but ill go to make u happy, and i said ok well you dont have to go, and he said no ill go. So he just called me saying how my cousin wanted to grill and do a bbq tonite. So I said, well I wanted to go fishing a little bit before it gets dark. So he says to my cousin " she doesnt want to come over" then i hang up and he sends this text to me: "this is like last week after work, u just want to pick me up. u really are hurting my feelings cause you dont want to hang out. and i wish so bad you did but i know you just dont to and i dont fault u for it. i love you so much but im tearing up writing this. i feel so hard to do for you and if i dont ur feelings get hurt and i feel worse. i feel i push so hard to do goof for you and you arent pleased. i love you so much but you never consider my choices such as maybe i dont want to fish but instead you attack me saying i never want to fish. i wanted to grill for you was the plan. i thought you would like that." i just always feel like my cousin has to be there if we go out and do something, like it cant just me and him. like last night we had it planned to meet my cousin at the water to fish and crab. well, my cousins alternator gave out, and he stopped by at the water and said to my boyfriend that he couldnt stay here because he needed to keep the car running. 5 minutes after my cousin left, my boyfriend was saying how he didnt want to stay there anymore, and how he really wanted to hang out at my cousins house. i said wow, just because hes not here you dont wanna stay here thats why. then he got mad because i said i didnt wanna go there because i had to get up for work early. i said you can go there, but no he didnt go. then he says to me, "im sorry if i like to be social. i like to do things with other people too. its more fun like that. its more fun to me when people come with us crabbing and fishing." oh and also to add on this, him and my cousin up until last week worked together about 3-4 days per week all day. they are plumbers, and my cousin has his own truck, and my boyfriend and him used to get paired to work together and go to different job sites all day. he constantly sees him, and always acts like he wants to go over his house and hang out, constantly is asking me, oh do you want to go to their house tonite blah blah blah. now my boyfriend has his own truck so him and my cousin arent really going to be paired anymore together. but what do you guys think of this? is he making a big deal, or do you agree with me that its a little weird how he acts with this? what should i do and say to him?





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