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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


It's funny, we often find themselves attracted to people who are different than ourselves in some way. I think Carl Jung said it is because we are trying to incorporate that different side into ourselves. But, so often, after a couple years, we tire of the differences between us and actually start resenting them.

I think the only way to get over the resentment is to embrace our differences and allow the other person to be who they are. I think that in love, acceptance is key. (Of course I don't mean accepting abuse or drug use or addiction or violence...but I mean about personality differences).

I think you have a third choice you didn't mention yet. And that would be to tell your girlfriend that you are who you are, and you may change and you may not. If you do, it's because you want to, not because of someone's elses expectations. You are happy being you, and you are not going to change to be "right" for someone else. She might even be relieved. I remember that aha moment in my past relationship, when I realized I could change nothing, it was a good to stop using all my energy on something I had no control over.

If you tell her, then she has a choice. You can tell her you wish for her to remain in your life and you love her, but that you are going to be true to yourself.





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