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I'm not sure what I am going to do yet. I have been a housewife/mom for the last 15 years therefore my only other option is to move back to montana with my dad. I would take my 2 girls and leave my 3 boys here with him. I really do not want to do that. My kids are all really close with eachother. All of us are really close and it would just break my heart to seperate them. There is so much more to our story, I will some other things and try not to make it too long.
We lived in montana 9 years ago. Before moving here to colorado, I did something really really dumb. Hubby was always treating me like crap, I felt used all the time and really truely felt as if he hated me. I hung in there because I didn't feel I had another option. My parents were not very supportive at that time as they were having their own problems. He never helped me around the house, never helped with the kids, no diaper changing. He wasn't a bad father though, he loved our boys. He would come home from work with a look of disgust all the time and claimed he was just tired. About 6 months before our move down here he started acting really strange. Was very paranoid about what I was doing. Although I never thought it was an affair because he had no time. He was at work then home. And I just never thought he would do that. Well 5 mths later, I went out with a freind and ran into some guy friends, one in peticular who paid lots of attention to me, always. I ended up staying with him and we had a one night stand type thing. He was so nice, he actually made love to me and made me feel special. I was not out looking for sex or an affair. It just happened. Well next day hubby throws all my stuff out and slowly moves another woman in. He told my parents I was on meth and just abandoned him and the kids. Once he moved her in I figured it had to have been going on for awhile in the back of my mind. But didn't really want to believe it. He filed for divorce and got custody of the kids, my parents thought I was on drugs so they were apprehensive about helping me. Thought the kids would be better off. Later on they beleived I wasn't on drugs. Anyway, I really missed him and our kids so I asked his forgiveness and asked him to take me back. He said yes with some counseling. After we got back together he told me about the affair. It had been going on for about 4 months prior to my one night stand. That hit me like a ton of bricks. To this day I can't forget about it. When we mover here 9 years ago everything was great, we didn't really talk about remarrying and I guess just didn't see a need to. Anytime the subject would come up though he has always had an excuse. He just recently enrolled in college and put that he is a single father of 5, he says lots of people told him to do so. He would get more aid. Told me to research it after I got upset about it. So I did, he's not any better off being single, unless I worked and made good money. Which I do not. When I told him. He just said well I'm not putting you on anything as married because of my back taxes. He said I don't need that burden. That is the lamest thing I have ever heard. Although I guess I am greatful because he is spearing me owing that as well if I did decide to leave. But now I can't put on anything that I live here for fear of him or myself getting in trouble. When I told him this he says we will just approach it when the time comes. I just recently took the ged test(waiting for results)and would like to go to school as well, but I have no address here in colorado. Then he tells me he is sure my dad will pay for it if I can't get aid. I have been severly depressed the last few weeks, way more than usual for me and 3 nights ago he asks me if I want to go to counseling with him. I started crying thinking he actually sensed something was wrong and wanted to fix it, but that wasn't the case. I had done some minor things that irritated him. Like choosing to believe that my son did turn in his math paper and maybe the teacher misplaced it. Because he has always handed in his homework, so I had no raeson not to believe him. Sorry so long again, but this is the reason I just don't know what to do. One part of me wants to try and the other doesn't. And I love my kids and don't want to seperate them. I just don't think I can not ever believe that something didn't happen in texas and always have our past haunting me anytime we get in an arguement. I don't think he will ever change, I don't think he will ever try and take the time to actually make love to me. I don't think he wants to be affectionate either. I used to feel important, like I had the most important job of raising kids, but he has made me just feel like its not that important and its not good enough. I need a career. Uhgg!!!





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