It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


[QUOTE=focusrt;4318392]I agree about the opening of doors and other gentlemen type stuff except for the pump her gas thing which I thought was a little odd. The fact is though that she never explained that to me in the beginning. Come to think of it, she never said thank you when I opened doors so I do have a problem with a woman simply expecting it without showing manners. To be honest though, a woman in today's society should be strong, independent, and secure enough in herself to do all of those things and then if the man helps out, she should show appreciation. I shouldn't have to go out of my way for such things especially is it's never acknowledged and/or appreciated. I mean, she did all those things herself before I came around. Why once a man is in the picture should the woman revert back to this helpless creature? It's like taking women back before the woman's rights movement.

When she said that I made her feel insecure, I tried to convey to her how I would take such a statement. I said that if someone came up to me and said "hey your chest is a little small compared to your shoulders or you could use some more definition in your back", I'd say thanks and use it as constructive criticism but maybe I'm just a stronger person mentally.

It's not like we are that young as we're both 30. I recently got out of an 11 year relationship where we were married for 5 of those years so I'm not new to relationships. She on the other hand hasn't been in one in 4 years mainly due to heartbreaks so she's definitely faded and very guarded in that aspect.

Honestly I don't even care for strip clubs as it was only the 3rd one I have been to. It was the only thing still opened at that time of night within walking distance so I said sure why not. We'll just have to disagree about the strip club thing then as many that I have talked to have said quite the opposite as we agreed that there is a certain level of acceptance when in one and a secure enough relationship should be able to have a level of trust and acceptance in such a place. But like I said, that's simply a matter of opinion on that.[/QUOTE]

I knew a woman who pulled over to get gas in her car and she told her boyfriend "go pump the gas!! You're the man!!" I don't necessarily agree with that, but I don't think thinks like helping on with a coat or holding a door open is treating women like helpless creatures. It's manners, pure and simple. And yes, the woman should say thank you. I always do. It's not that I can't do these things for myself, but it's nice to have help. If you're not going to help me, be a gentleman to me and be attentive and help me on with a coat, hold my chair out, help me carry my groceries in, then really, what are you there for? A capable, strong, independent woman is still a lady, and still should be treated like a lady by a gentleman. Don't use the woman's movement as an excuse to be a cad.

Perhaps you're right about the strip club, I don't know. Perhaps younger women are different about those kinds of things these days. But I'm a woman, and as a woman I can tell you I would NOT be at ALL ok with my man sticking money down some other woman's g-string and caressing her thigh. That would kind of be a deal breaker for me. Do with that information what you will. I don't really think it has so much to do with "modern" vs. "traditional." It's just being a gentleman. Not to excuse her, she could have communicated her wants and needs in a much less demanding, whiney way. But it will only serve you well to learn how to be more of a gentleman in your future relationships.





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:49 PM.





© 2022 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!