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Relationship Health Message Board


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My boyfriend of 8 months had a problem with coke several years ago following his divorce but has told me time and again he is no longer interested in it. I made it clear I didn't want to be around anything like that since I could lose my job if he was caught with it while I was with him. Our entire relationship he would tell me how great I was, how I was the best thing to happen to him, etc. He even took me to meet his parents, something he had not done with any other girl since his ex-wife 10 years ago. He would tell me he could see us getting married quite often (I learned my lesson with an ex and no longer bring that topic up). He owns a business that has been doing well so I really only saw him on weekends, but if I wasn't staying over he would always seem disappointed. I need my girl time, though, and understand he needs guy time too, so it was never an issue if one of us wanted to do something alone on the weekend.

This past weekend, we were together and he was drinking and was being obnoxious so I got annoyed and told him (we were at a wedding and he kept giving me noogies...I don't think I was unreasonably annoyed). We got into an argument but his friends took my side and he stopped but still seemed upset. He called another friend who I know is a dealer then disappeared for about 1/2 hour and came back in a great mood, which made me suspicious. It was the second time in a month I'd noticed this. We went home and things were good that night, he was talking about when I'm his wife I won't have to worry about things, etc. Sunday he was still being extremely sweet until we went to his friend's for a bbq. He ignored me the whole night but I wasn't upset because he hadn't seen them in a while. However, he started calling his dealer friend again "for other people there that night" and I left.

Monday-Wednesday things seemed fine until I said I wanted to talk and asked if he'd been using anything this weekend. He got very defensive and ended up breaking up with me because "he was embarrassed by my behavior Sunday and he'd been married before and didn't want it again and preferred being single and I cause too much drama." This is coming from someone who was once kicked out of a bar he built for fighting with his brother. I came out of the bathroom and the owner asked me to get him to leave.

It was never my intention to break up with him over this; I. Just wanted to have a talk and tell him if he WAS using again, it couldn't be when I was around. I do suffer from depression and know I can be difficult, but it seems strange that it wasn't until I asked about drugs that he had a problem with anything. I apologize that this is so long, but I'm really hurting and guess I needed to vent. Anyway, does it sound like he could be using again? I really care about him and worry about him.





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