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[QUOTE=resolution09;4326541]I usually read all of the posts before I say anything but this time I'm not. I was actually rather taken aback when I read your first post because my best friend's ex husband did that. As you described your BF's actions, it was like watching it play out at my best friend's house! I'd never seen a man do that before and it amazed me to watch him in action. We lived next door to each other and I could tell by how he was acting with the kids in the yard as to whether he and her were in a fight or not! He had 3 kids by two different women. My Best Friend, during the years they were married, was the primary parent. And whenever there would be a fight between them, he would start cuddling up to his kids. I didn't take it as trying to make her jealous, but as trying to draw the kids away from her. He was building his empire, with them on his side. Then when things would calm down, he was happy to let her take over the work again and it was all good for the kids to go back to loving her.

Yes, he was very, very childish. They were married about 6 years and 5 of the years were because she felt trapped and was waiting for the kids to get old enough for her to leave.

You're not going to change this. How can you? Tell him to stop loving his kids? At least that was the story best friend would hear. He wasn't going to say "yea, I'm really just sucking up to them so they'll think I'm better than you because it's all I know how to do when we fight. I like to drag the kids into things". If he's old enough to have multiple kids, his patterns are set. You just have to decide if that's a deal breaker or not.

BTW, the sad part of my best friend's story is that the now adult kids never come to see her. They break lunch dates, never acknowledge her birthday. She was with their Dad 9 years total. She thought sticking it out and being their parent would make a difference but it really didn't. It may sound horrible but I don't think there would have been much difference in those kids lives if she had just left when she wanted to. Their parents were not awful people, just not real bright and childish. And she feels like she just lost years of her life by being guilted into being the parent when there were two who really should have just stood up and done the job.

I really am just amazed there are other men out there who play their children this way. Little pawns in the relationship game.[/QUOTE]

yep there is other men like ur best friends ex husband. my boyfriends one of them. very childish
[QUOTE=iloveoctopus;4326666]yep there is other men like ur best friends ex husband. my boyfriends one of them. very childish[/QUOTE]

So, have you come to any conclusions? Do you want to spend your time, your life with a man who acts like a spoiled child and uses his children as pawns? If you stay with him, it's lime you are accepting of the way he treats his kids.

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