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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

thank yall for everything, it has been so long since I have been on here, everything yall said means a lot...I have been trying things, but I think at this has actually gotten worse...I dont know what is wrong with me, I dont know what is going on, I went to the doctor and he put me on some medicine for my ADD, AND ADHD, I dont think that is helping with my attitude and my temper, I'm still really mean and get mad very easily, I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a monster that nobody wants to be around, and I dont want that, I have a few friends but not many especially now since the girl I started talking to at work, all of the people we work with are her friends also, and are closer to her than me, and they never invite me out anymore. I dont know if it is because she tells them not to invite me, or they just dont want to invite me or what it is. My best friend is married and lives an hour away from me so we dont really get to hang out very much because of that and he is married with a 2 year old daughter and a wife who is pregnant and my ex still talk, I miss her so much and I love her, I'm afraid she is going to move on and I dont want her to but I also dont want her with me cause of me being an ass hole, I wrote her like a 25 page text message this morning while I was at work, and she said she would write me back but hasnt yet but I know she will...I just dont know what to do about my temper and my anger...I dont know how to control is getting so out of control, I have started fighting again when people make me mad...I have gotten in I think 3 or 4 fights since I have posted this first post, I won 2 and lost 2 due to cause I got jumped because I wasnt thinking before I spoke or acted...and thats something I need to work on, because words can hurt so bad and I dont want to say anymore hurtful things to my ex, she is so beautiful and deserves a damn KING yall...she is the perfect girl that every guy wants, and I have her heart...and why I cant seem to treat her right? I dont know....I dont know what is wrong with me...any guy would give anything to be with her...she has a GREAT body, a GREAT mind, GREAT personality and is so much fun...but I have hurt her so much and I broke her trust a couple years ago and that problem stands today...its hard for her to trust me and I dont blame her for not because I jacked up so many times...would I ever do it agaain?...NO, have I done anything since we talked about what happened...NO, but she still has a hard time trusting me and it really really really sucks!!! But, I really dont know...I dont know what to do at all...I feel like depression is taking over and I dont know how to beat it......

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