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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


So this is the thing I been in many relationship from a couple months to 3 years long... never told the man i loved him EVER. Then I met this man and we were hooking up as friends with possibe benifits... he comes over and of course we have sex but we still had talked about just being friends and seeing where it goes. I was fine with that because the way I melted.. the way he talked touched looked at me... he made me feel like i was up in clouds. when we first met i got butterflies for the first time in my life and i had always thought this man this is wayyy to good to be true he must be a dog and thats why he only wants sex and not a relationship... so i was game for not getting together. so i continued dating and after him and had been talking for a month i was still dating... although i found it hard... every man i encounterd wasnt good enough or they made me bored or got on my nerves... i couldnt wait to go back home.. lol it was becoming awkward for me to even talk to any other man on the phone.. right then and there i knew there was something different about this man....he would come thru about once a wk. Needless to say i went on a date and this one guy he kept trying to kiss me and i told him i didnt feel comfortable and i didnt want to well he started kissin on my neck and he left hickys on my neck i pretty much left after that and told him that i dont want nothing to do with him on that level because we were suppose to be haning out i told him i didnt want anything sexually. of course the the next day the guy im google over decides he wants to come over.. but i wasnt worried since we wernt together and we never made any form of commitment. he seen them and was like nice passion marks and how he said it sorta made me feel weird... it was in a tone i never heard. i tried to turn it into a joke and said it was nothing but u can cover them up :) trying to be funny but he said seriously " no what im going to do is let u deal with them knowing that their from another man and not from me" after that night he didnt call or come around for another week and half. which gave me plenty of time to think and i finally asked him if it botherd him and he agreed to it stating "yes knowing that you were the only women i was talking to and knowing that i wasnt the only man you were seeing" that night i told him how i really felt and i asked him what he wanted to do he said " i want it to just be us but i dont want u to hurt me" So after that we hooked up I met some of his family but not his kids and never went to his house. he is very protective of his children and said that hes been with crazy women that has thrown stuff thru windows and what not so i respected him for that.

after being officailly together for a month i moved a hour and half away he had motivated me to further my life so i attended medical school and i'd come down and visit him. there were a couple of times that i came down and couldnt reach him he later had a legit reason. so after we were together for about 10 months he helped me find an apartment which his cousin stays in. I moved back to the city and completed my externship. there would be many times that he would ignore my calls or not respond to a text msg... yet have not met his kids.

I was thinking to myself we had been together for a year and i changed my whole life for him, but yet not been inside his house nor met his kids... without telling him I told myself that if I dont meet them soon that something is wrong. he says he baby mama dont live there and that they havent been together in 4 years (it was a 14yr relationship) that he is lying.. well august 14th i finally met his kids and have seen them once after that. but still never been in his home... he does have an autistic child that i havent met so i assume it will be hard for him to adjust to me and thats y he waits. I do know where he lives and been in the car parked in front of the door hundreds of times.. so i dont read to much into it.

my birthday was august 21st and he didnt even bother making me a card in fact he got upset with me that morning because i asked him if he even wanted to spend it with me... he said that for now on he is going to make me deal with the words i speak to him so he "punished me" for asking that and didnt even spend it with me. then sept 1st was our 1year ann. no call no show. then when he comes and picked me up one time and i let him use my car i got back home and there were womens glasses on my floor mind u i just cleaned my bathroom before work and i found a dirty wash rag with in the toilet pee and toilet paper.... i confronted him but it just got turned on me how i need to stop being so jealous and im talking crazy

well now... the other day we had gotten in to a really bad fight... i was talking to one of my guy friend on the phone ( which i had known b4 him) and he has women friend and he always told me that he doent care that i have guy friends as long as friends are what they really are and i put him on speaker phone and my man said come on over lets have a couple drinks. after that i go in my room im talking to one of my gfs and im on the computer then i heard him talking to his cousin saying she she she so i thought he was talking about me and i went out there and im like what? and he totally flipped... he started talking about my guy friend coming over and that he better not come here although he was the one that invited him... and i tried asking him what he was talking about but him and his cuz made up some bs story... it was our worst fight ever so he went home that night and i went up to visit my familyi had noticed he had left his phone in my car. well text after text call after call was blowing up his phone from all these different women names. my friend told me to go thru his phone and i didnt want to because he always told me not to... well yeah i did and i read a msg that was sent just prior to our fight where a young women said i think im pregnant and he asked by me? and she said yes... then the other ones were girls saying hey baby... or another saying my kids are gone tonight want to get together... even some angry ones saying i tried calling and texting this is the last time if u dont answer me!!! there were at least 8 different women that had text since i had his phone.

those are not just "friends" we been together for over a year now... and i saw him yesterday for the first time.. since our fight i didnt tell him about his phone and what i had seen... but i did tell him that if he has something to say to please tell me.. he apoligized for the fight an promised to never let it get that bad again and said he loved me... i couldnt say it back but i do love him with all my heart im just hurt right now the man that promised to give me the family i want... be my husband someday give me kids... the only man i allowed to have my heart... idk what to do...





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