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[QUOTE=Larrylou'smom;4341776]So when you say she cheated on you, are you referring to that one week just before she broke up with you, after the miscarriage? You did determine that the baby she miscarried was yours? Is that correct? And then she lied about this guy she was seeing during the "we're not back together yet but seeing if we want to go there" period? And she said because she didn't want to upset you?

Well, though technically I suppose it was cheating if she dated or slept with someone before officially ending it with you, but there is a bit of gray area here, I think. It's not like she was sleeping with this guy for months and months and then getting back in bed with you and lying about it all. She ended it with you one week after starting to see him.

She's already cut one friend out of her life for you. I think it's unreasonable to expect her to not have any association with any male at all other than yourself. The guy she was hanging out with, she was understandably leary of telling you about him, and even though nothing romantic happened at all, you still found a reason to lose all trust in her.

And that's what's at the bottom of all this. I think at the end of the day, you're going to have to trust her judgment and her commitment to you and trust her. If you can't, then you can't watch her every minute, you can't force her to cut people out of her life and you can't keep tabs on her all the time. If you can't ever really trust her again, then there isn't much of a relationship.[/QUOTE]

I assume it was mine, no way to know for sure.
She has not cut anyone out of her life. The guy she met through the personals ad that is "just a friend" that I met once she came forward, she is still friends with.

I guess I'm just trying to get an outside opinion as to whether not my view point is correct. It seems anyone I know I asked, considers her a lost cause. I on the other hand love her, so i'm trying to make sure this isn't me being insecure or possessive, etc. I understand I can't keep tabs on her all the time, but it seems that she is more interesting in nursing male friendships with guys she hasn't known very long (coworkers, etc), than helping me rebuild trust. She did see this friend once after we got back together and lied about it. I should have mentioned that before hand, but there is so much to this story, I tried to cut corners and give a short version.

I appreciate your feedback though. I disagree with the "gray area" though. To me, cheating is cheating. I was under the impression that things were ok. She was telling me she was going to her friends house, when she was out on a date with another man. We were living together at the time, in a commited relationship. There was no discussion of a break up. Yet, she was sneaking off every night to see this guy. I consider that cheating whether there was physical contact or not. I'll never know. I also get the feeling she feels it was justified. If I could ever confirm that or knew for certain that she really felt no remorese, I would mostly certaintly end it. But she claims she does. And I can't go on assumptions. Problem is, after 4 months of lying to me repeatedly over the past 6 months, even after reconciliation, I'm wondering if i'm a fool to be fighting so hard to work this out.





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