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Relationship Health Message Board

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OK everybody, I often post on this board in relation to my panic disorder, but I have had something else happen in terms of normal stress that I am having a hard time dealing with. I am a bridesmaid for my boyfriend's sister. This past weekend, I (along with the other 2 bridesmaids) had planned a stagette weekend. On the saturday, we were all going out to the bar. I had prepared a gift bag for the bride that had a gag veil, gag garter, glow stick, candy necklace and a risque scavenger hunt. I will admit that there was one item on the hunt list that may have gone too far (tequila body shot), but the bride was also told that she did not have to do all the things, it was her choice. Well, she proceeded to adamantly refuse to do any of the things in the bag. Wouldn't wear the veil, the garter, anything. She also told me basically how horrible many of the items were. She did this in front of a number of guests and made it very known that she was mad. The next day I sent an email to her telling her how upset I was with the way in which she chose to ridicule all items in the bag. It wasn't that she refused to do them (well partly), but it was how she made me feel like crap. Needless to say the email did not go over well. She proceeded to ream me out and tell me how much I have ruined her wedding. She would not even consider that perhaps her actions hurt me. I ended up apologizing like a blubbering idiot, telling her how I was so inconsiderate to do the things I did. I did this because I have no backbone. The problem now is that I can't let this go. I am letting it ruin my relationship with my BF, who I have been with for almost 7 years. I am constantly getting angry at him. I cannot stop thinking about this. I have never been this hurt or mad at someone and basically because I have been made into such the bad one here. HOw can I move on and get over this. I cannot go to her and talk because I am too angry and also because her stubbornness, and self-centeredness is nothing new. She will never see my point, it will always be that she has chosen to forgive the horrible things I did. How can I stop letting this eat me up inside, and stop taking it out on my boyfriend and stop having the feeling that I am mad at her whole family. I know I am overreacting.

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