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Sorry, this is a long one.

I was with my ex for about 9 months. We had our issues but were pretty happy. Then my Dad died suddenly in February. My boyfriend was with me at the hospital for the worse day of my life. We had the funeral about 4 hrs drive away in his home town the following Friday. My family and I were there all week preparing and the exbf was to drive down Thurs. morning. Well late Thursday night he shows up a dishovled mess. He hadn't bought new shoes or gotten a hair cut like he said he was going to and in the morning I had to clean his suite for the funeral.

When I got back in town, I went over to his apartment (I had a key). He wasn't home but a mess of beer cans sure was. There were 68 cans laying around (and I didn't even look in the trash). When confronted, he admitted to taking off of work and going on a week-long drinking binge while I was making funeral arrangements. The thing is, I told him on our first date and a couple of times thereafter that I would never be with an alcoholic. I've seen the effects it can have on families.

So I dumped him and removed him almost completely from my life (he still txts me). I did tell him in May to go to AA, rehab, a couselor - something! But since then he has done nothing - he'll tell me all sorts of things. Sometimes he agrees and says he'll find a couselor, others he says I'm being unreasonable and that he's changed.

He begs for me back which makes it hard to stay strong when it is someone you cared about. But honestly at the same time, I want him to hurt. Because of the hard time I had after losing my Dad and all this mess, I went to a lot of counseling. It helped tremendously but think I've lost some of my resolve and clarity since then.

There were little signs during our relationship that he had a drinking problem that I didn't know at the time were signs. He says he's changed and isn't an alcoholic...

Is it possible that he hit rock bottom and could have changed on his own? I've only seen him once since May. I feel myself doubting a lot more recently because of how persistent he is about it and the fact that I am more or less basing my opinion on one event.

What do you think? I appreciate your ideas and comments!





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