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I would like to offer my life’s experience as well as situation.
I’m a 42 yr old woman.
My father :angel: died when I was turning 8. He left my 28 yr old mother with 6 children. 6 months after the death of my father, my mother introduces us to HER BOYFRIEND. Her boyfriend (who has no children) moves in with us and we are to call him Dad…The bleep bleep man doesn’t want to MARRY my mother because she has children – but he lives with us for freaking 10 years…

OK, then mother finds a man who will marry her with her 5 teenage children (one of my brothers died shortly after my father :angel: ) we move 400 miles away from our LIVES so mother can marry this man and again she asks us to call him DAD – Neither one of these MEN were father figures nor did they care to be. But, I had to respect them, be nice to them, and call them a name they did not deserve. I hated it then and I continue to hate it now….. :eek:

OK, fast forward to my life, I marry, become a mom and get a divorce.
ONE thing my ex-husband asks of me is if I date someone to PLEASE be it a nice guy who will treat our son well….Well ladies, I dated some nice guys, dated some real losers, and had two guys dump me because I had a son….OH, and there were HONEST guys who just didn’t want to Date a divorced single mother….[B]MY SON always came first! [/B]
I was NEVER going to be like my mother, because I knew of the PAIN it caused me. [B]NO MAN will ever become between me and my son – He is the MOST important thing in my life.[/B]

I also had an “attitude” towards men :rolleyes: – SO, if they don’t want a divorced single mother then “I” don't want someone else’s kids either.
Ha ha – :p Sure enough – I go and fall in love with a man who has not 1 child…. but 3! The oldest doesn’t like me but it’s not because of anything that I have done, she has issues with her father (for good reasons).
I accept it and don’t force myself on her or try anything to damage any further the relationship she has with her father – I stay out of it.

The other two children :) – I get along Great With, I could not ask for Better Step Children, I treat them as I treat my son. I’m a screaming mother so they have seen how strict I am with my son, but they also see how loving I am with him – I love those children as if they were MINE.

Lastly, I could NEVER imagine not having my son or step children at my wedding, as you can see, I’m engaged (3 years) but I do call them my step children. They don’t call me mom nor would I EVER Ever expect them to or have them….The middle child is a girl and we are great friends and I asked her not to think of me as a step mom but as an Aunt – she knows how I treat my nieces as my own daughters as well – with advice, shopping trips, dinner and movies, and wonderful talks about life..I don’t speak badly about their mother even though my thoughts of her are as a physco ex wife.
hey don’t need to KNOW that or SEE any negative from me (they will soon find out on their own if not already) about their mother…

Being a Parent or Step Parent is the hardest in the world, it is NOT the children’s Fault they have different adults raising them –
What is important is LOVE, Attention, Direction, Discipline, and showing THEM you are not the enemy. :angel:

Sorry so long, I just had to get this out….

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