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[quote]Originally posted by *OneStepCloser*:
[B]Sorry if I sounded gripey in my previous post Phaycops. I think I may have taken your reply the wrong way. :)[/quote]

It's all good. *hugs* I know you're having a rough time, and it's hard to gauge the way people mean things to sound when they're typed. Sorry if I sounded gripey, too, I just wanted to point out some things. I was in a similar situation, though not as severe, with an ex of mine. He was just so needy and I didn't realize it until after we broke up. I just wanted to save you some trouble down the line.

[quote]We had a long talk last night and I just straight out told him that I realize that our problems aren't just his fault but if I'm willing to try then I think he should be also. He agreed. But, he always does for a while. [/quote]

Well, it's nice he wants to work on it. I don't know what to tell you to make him try harder or stick with it. My advice is that if he doesn't work on your relationship, then maybe it's just time to say goodbye. It's awfully sad, I know, but you have us, right? You can always complain to us!

[quote]How do I motivate him? I've tried every way that I know. [/quote]

This I do not know. Maybe he just needs some tough love to find his motivation? I don't know him, but it sounds like later on down the line he could wind up seriously mooching off you. His parents aren't going to be around forever, so he needs to learn how to take care of himself.

[quote]I agree that I need to reconnect with my friends but truthfully I really don't like the friends I used to have. They're all different and I'm just not good at making new ones. I'm actually scrared to death at the thought of talking to someone that I know. I can't even make eye contact with a stranger, much less talk to them. What do you think I should do? How do I go about making friends?[/quote]

Wow, if only someone here had the magic formula for making friends, huh? Well, it soudns very Ann Landers, but try joining church groups or getting involved in other organizations. If you have a hobby, there's probably a group you can join (knitting, mountain biking, deck hockey-- all groups around here!). It is so hard to make friends, I know. There's not much that will make it easier! All I've got to say is that if my old, socially maladapted, shy, awkward, ex-roomate could move away and make friends, well, there's hope for us yet!

[quote]Also, I have one more question. I've had this nagging feeling to call up my ex just to talk. Honestly that's all I want to do. My only problem is, bf gets all jealous of him when there's really nothing to worry about. I guess I kinda resent him a little for making me choose not to talk to my ex anymore. Now I want to be his FRIEND again. He was always really special to me and I know that he could help me out if I could just talk to him. Do you think that's a good idea? If not, why? If so, how do I tell my bf about it or do I not tell him?[/quote]

Ok, repeat after me. My boyfriend does not control who I talk to or who I'm friends with. If he tried to, he's a mean poopyhead. I am allowed to have my own friends, and he doesn't get to say who they are.

Got it? If your boyfriend is trying to isolate you from your friends, it may be a sign of an abusive type of person. I don't want to sound all doom n' gloom, but that's totally NOT COOL. You deserve to talk to your ex. I'm sure he'd appreciate your call, too. Sounds like he's a nice guy, who even after a breakup can admit that you were special to him, even if he no longer feels the same way he used to. Do it, behind boyfriend's back if you need to.

Big hugs, and remember, you always have us!!!

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