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Relationship Health Message Board


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I just want to reitterate what everyone else has been saying..... don't get too hung up on finding a boyfriend, and do your best to ignore this catty friend.

I had a "friend" just like her in high school. She was fun to talk to but she would backstab me in a heartbeat if it meant getting what she wanted. She was beautiful and guys were always fawning all over her, but they were usually guys that never stood a chance. She would lead them on and drive them CRAZY, and they would always come to me (I, like you, was never the girlfriend but was close friends with these guys) and ask how they could date her. I always told them to stay away but they would chase after her and buy her things and would debate for months how to ask her out. She loved leading them up to the big moment where they FINALLY had the guts to ask her out in a romantic situation and she would laugh in their faces and spread it around school how she turned them down. This happened to at least 3 guys I can think of, and they never really did get over it...they still talk about what she did to them and they spent most of high school wanting her and hating her at the same time.

Trust me, you will end up the happy one if you just let her do her thing and stay true to yourself. She is going to be like that no matter what you say to her, and the guys are going to drool all over her no matter what you say to them. These are not the kind of guys you want to date anyway, right?

Do your best to keep and make male friendships. I have always been able to relate better to men then women, and am just now at 23 starting to make good female friends. As a result, I had some fantastic friendships in high school and college. Guys make wonderful friends....they are not usually catty, they don't make you feel pressured to act or dress a certain way, and lots of them really like talking to a female friend because they can open up in a way that they can't around other guys.

I am extremely average looking, and found myself getting asked out a ton in college. It was just a matter of not dwelling on being in a relationship, being myself, and just being one of the guys. Try not to be depressed by your friend's behavior....let all the losers chase after her and make some guy friends who DON'T just want a girlfriend. If you have trouble, realize that college isn't too far away and the guys there really are a lot less superficial.

Best wishes!





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